<div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>열심히 삽질을 하던 나는 주머니에서 울리는 휴대폰 벨소리에 주변의 눈치를 살폈다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>일하다 말고 전화를 받길 벌써 여러 번</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>같이 일하던 사람들은 이제 노골적으로 눈총을 보내고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>사별한 아내 대신 혼자 막노동으로 아이를 키우는 내 입장을 알다보니 </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>다들 어느 정도 배려해 주지만 아무래도 오늘은 정도가 심했던 모양이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>그렇다고 집에 혼자 있는 어린 아들 전화를 안받을 수도 없어서</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>연신 죄송하다고 말하며 현장을 벗어났다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>여보세요</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>아빠</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>빨리 오면 안돼</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">? </span><span>형이 또 이상해</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>배가 고픈가봐</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>아들의 공포스런 목소리에 난 한숨을 쉬었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>아들</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>아빠가 얘기했지</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>괜찮을거라고</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>그러니 아무런 걱정하지 말고 씩씩하게 있어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>내말을 들은 척도 하지 않고 전화기 너머에선 다시 아들의 울먹거리는 목소리가 들려왔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>형이 방 안에서 막 벽 두드리고 소리 지르고 이상해</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>아까 먹을거 방안에 던져 줫는데 모자른가봐</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>빨리 들어와</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>나 무서워</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>태어날 때부터 지적 장애가 있었던 형을 둘째아이는 무서워했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>방안에서 나오지 못하도록 잘 잠궈놓고 있긴 했지만</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>아무래도 존재 자체가 아들에게 공포심을 주는 모양이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>무서워하는 아들을 위해 가능하면 일찍 들어가고 싶어도 막상 돈을 벌기 위해서는 대부분의 시간을 나와서 일을 해야 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>그러다보니 대부분의 시간을 아들은 형과 함께 집에 머물러 있어야 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>아들에게 미안하고 안쓰러운 감정이 들었지만 오늘 아들의 태도는 조금 심한 듯 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>아빠가 오늘만 벌써 몇 번이나 얘기했지</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>네가 무서워 할 이유는 아무것도 없어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>그러니까 이상한 상상 하지 말고 얌전히 있어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>알았지</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>최대한 일 빨리 끝내놓고 들어갈 테니까</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>약속할게</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>전화가 올 때마다 이야기 했던 말을 다시 한번 말해주며 아들을 달래었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>이제 한번만 더 전화가 오면 크게 한소리 들을게 뻔했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>멀리서 날 노려보는 동료들의 눈길이 느껴지는 것 같았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>아니야</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>아빠</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>형이 진짜 이상하다니까</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>나 너무 무서워</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>지금 바로 와주면 안돼</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>처음과 똑같은 아들의 말에 난 확하고 짜증이 일었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>난 터질 것 같은 분노를 억누르며 말했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>잘 들어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>네가 형을 무서워 하는건 충분히 이해해</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>그동안 집에서 방에 갇힌 형이랑 같이 있는게 고통스럽고 힘든 일이었단 것도 다 알아</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>확실히 트라우마가 생길 만도 해</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>그런데 말이야</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>난 말을 멈추고 격양된 감정을 간신히 억눌렀다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>그리고 떨리는 목소리로 말을 마쳤다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>네가 그토록 무서워하는 형은 이미 죽었어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>알아들어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>이젠 없다고</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>그 집엔 너 혼자 뿐이야</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>이해하겠어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>도대체 몇 번이나 말해 줘야돼</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>그러니 제발 진정하고 아빠 일 끝나고 돌아갈때 까지 얌전히 있어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>알았어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>신경질적으로 전화기를 끊은 나는 서둘러 현장으로 돌아갔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>따끈한 봉지를 손에들고 현관을 들어서니 집안은 아무런 소리도 들리지 않고 조용했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>낮에 아들에게 화를 낸게 내심 미안해서 아들이 좋아하는 치킨을 사가지고 들어오는 참이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>봉지를 주방에 내려놓고 아들방으로 향했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>아들은 침대에 웅크리고 누워서 잠을 자고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>한참을 울다가 잠이 들었는지 베게가 다 축축하게 젖어있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>안쓰러운 마음에 아들의 머리칼을 쓸어내었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>정신지체가 있는 아들을 평생 돌봐야 한다는 부담은 내게는 견딜 수 없이 큰 두려움을 주었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>죽은지 오랜시간이 지났음에도 아직도 형이 살아있다 믿으며 무서워하는 것을 보니</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>아들에게도 형의 존재는 두려움 그 자체 였던 모양이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>비록 지금 첫째는 죽고 없지만 아들은 아직 그 두려움을 극복하지 못하고 형이 살아있다는 망상에 사로잡혀 불안함을 호소하고 있는 것이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>먹고살기위해 너무나 바쁘고 피곤하지만 앞으로는 아들과 함께하는 시간을 늘려야겠다고 생각한 그때 문을 두드리는 소리가 들려왔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>누구세요</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>나 건너편 사는 사람인데</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">, </span><span>애좀 조용히 시켜줬으면 해서요</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>하루 종일 시끄러워서 살 수가 없어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>오며가며 본적있는 건너편집 아줌마가 짜증스런 얼굴로 현관 앞에 서있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>아들이 공포에 떨며 제법 소란을 떨었던 모양이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>아</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>죄송합니다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>제가 집에 없어서 애가 많이 불안했나봐요</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>조심하겠습니다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>아이는 이제 잠들었습니다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>내 대답에 아줌마는 짜증이 나는 듯 쏘아붙였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>아니 잠들기는 뭐가 잠들어</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>지금도 애 소리 지르는게 온동네에 다 들리는데</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>난 고개를 갸웃거리며 집안으로 고개를 돌려 귀를 기울였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>역시 아무런 소리가 들리지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>아니</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">, </span><span>이집 큰 애가 좀 안좋아서 저러는건 나도 알지</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>어린 둘째가 혼자 아픈형 돌보면서 집지키는거 보면 나도 애키우는 엄마 입장에서 안쓰럽기도 하고</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>그런데 아무리 그래도 하루종일 저러는건 좀 너무하지 않아</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>동네사람들 생각도 좀 해줘야 할거 아니야</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>그리고</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.....”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>흥분하기 시작하는 아줌마의 말을 끊고 난 화가 나서 쏘아붙였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>지금 도대체 무슨말씀을 하시는겁니까</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>저희집 첫째</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">, </span><span>죽은지 오래입니다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span><span>그런데 소리를 지른다니요</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>지금도 아무소리 안들리잖아요</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">. </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>안그래도 둘째가 계속 헛소리를 해서 힘든데 아줌마까지 이상한 소리를 하십니까</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">?”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>아줌마는 말문이 막힌 듯 멍한 얼굴로 집안과 내 얼굴만 번갈아 보고있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">“</span><span>제가 비록 못난 놈이지만 이런 식으로 사람 가지고 노는거 아닙니다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.”</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>아줌마 면전에다 대고 쾅하며 문을 닫은 나는 씩씩대며 내방으로 들어왔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>씻을 기분도 나지 않았기에 곧바로 침대에 누워서는 분을 삭혔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>아들이 자꾸 형이 살아있는 것처럼 말하는것만 해도 스트레스인데</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>이제는 동네사람들 까지 이상한 소리를 해댄다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>짜증이 확 몰려왔지만 신경질 적으로 머리를 흔들어 털어버리고는 머리맡에 놓인 약통을 집어 들었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>약을 먹으려고 물을 떠오려던 나는 귀찮음에 통을 다시 제자리에 놓고 이불을 뒤집어 썼다</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span>정신과 의사가 꼭 챙겨먹으라고 신신 당부 하긴 했지만 특별히 병이 있는것도 아니니 괜찮겠지</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">  </span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">PS. </span><span>현실 부정 </span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">: </span><span>두려움 극복의 가장 극단적인 형태</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'굴림체';">.</span></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;">   <p></p></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;">   <p></p></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;">   <p></p></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;">   <p></p></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;">   <p></p></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;">   <p></p></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;">   <p></p></div> <div style="margin-bottom:4pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:Arial;">By. neptunuse</span></div>