Dear Diary,
I'm sorry I haven't written in a long time, but I just did not feel like it. It was just series of bad events. I can't believe this is all happening but it is. My dad's phone call woke me up 2 days ago, and he said that he and mom will come to Seoul because of cancer. It was just so random so I just didn't know what to say. All my life, I only imagined one of them being sick. I know I kind of had easy with my life, but this was just so unprepared for. I kind of heard dad's voice darken when he was talking. He told me that it was no big deal, and he said not to make a big fuss about it to my sisters. My sisters are in US and they live in different states. I consider them to be very mature and strong, since they are very independent. I am the weak one since I am always leaning on my parents.
After hearing that call, I just felt so empty. I only saw or heard cancer from people that are outside my circle. I never thought it could happen to us. When I saw my parents, they looked very shabby. They couldn't sleep for days. The things I have only heard was becoming a reality. Mom really did look like a sick patient. I didn't know what to do, and I felt so bad because there was nothing I could do but make small recollections of what has happened while I was in Seoul. I acted like everything was normal and she was normal but my mom was looking tired as ever. I stayed over at the hotel they were staying and went to the hospital with them. I didn't stay long enough to hear the news because I had a mid-term, which I did horribly on because I couldn't focus at all. My parents went back to their home and I called mom up. I just asked her how she was feeling and if she is having any kind of pain. She said it was no big deal, and she told me that the name of sickness was biliary tract cancer. She told me that the doctors said that they found the cancer early luckily. I am not sure how bad our 'luck' is but I don't want to guess. However, being very curious about what this cancer is, I looked up online. I really shouldn't have. The websites told me that it was cancer with a very low survival rate. Now I am thinking that my mom lied to me so I won't feel bad or sad. But I am, and I am getting sadder the more I think about it. Maybe I am just overreacting, but how can't I? She is my mom. Our family has been through so much, and my mom has been the positive cheer leader in our family. I don't know. I thought writing would have helped me think things through but now I am just sad. I might start going back to church tomorrow.
