<p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="ko">첫째집안의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">둘째로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">살아오는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">동안</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">수많은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">혼란을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">맞아야했다</span><span lang="en-us">.</span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="ko">첫째에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">대한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">편애</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">둘째에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">바라는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">틀에박힌</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">모자란</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이미지</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">두가지를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이해하려</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">수많은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">노력을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">해왔다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="ko">한국의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">특징이라</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">생각하지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">않는다</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">말과</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">행동이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">다른건</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그저</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">자신의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">행동을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">포장하려는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">노력일뿐</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">인정하지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">않으려는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그대의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">자존심일뿐</span><span lang="en-us">.</span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="ko">사랑한다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">하지만</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사랑을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">느끼지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">못한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">믿는다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">한다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">하지만</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">끊임없이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">의심하고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">동정한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="ko">가족에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">대한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">믿음이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">희미하다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="ko">형의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">거짓말</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">아빠의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">편애</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">엄마의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">동정</span><span lang="en-us">.</span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="en-us">01-1</span><span lang="ko">대학교</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사학년</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">형의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">연락이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">잦아진다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">돈을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">보내달라한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="ko">큰일났다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">우리집이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">힘든가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">보다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">한국에서</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">보내주는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">돈이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">부족하니</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">어쩔수</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">없지</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">얼마나</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">힘들면</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나한테</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">돈을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">달라</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">하겟어</span><span lang="en-us">. </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="ko">그렇게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">최악의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">한달이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">시작된다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">돈을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">아낀다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">공부와</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">건강</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그리고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">행복은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">다시</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">찾을수</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">있을것이다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">가족의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">힘듬을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">덜어주고싶다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">두주동안은</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">밥없이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">감자튀김을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">먹는다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">.  </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">배가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">넉넉해지고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">통장잔고도</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">넉넉해진다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">가족은</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">모른다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">집값이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">십만원</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">더</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나가지만</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">말하지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">그정도야</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">생활비에서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">덜쓰면</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">되는거니깐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">그런데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">큰일이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">집중을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">하지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">못한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">밥을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">못먹으니</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">힘이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">든다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">힘이드니</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">정신이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">정신이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없으니</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">프로젝트에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">집중하지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">못한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">작년만해도</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">삼학년수석</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">그저</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">허물없는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">한줄의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">벳지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이번학기</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">열심히</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">노력했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">한학기</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">쉬어서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">더</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">그랬는지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">모르지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">너무</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">하고싶었던</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">거니깐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">학기</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">삼분의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">지났다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">스폰을해준</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">스바루에서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">취업시켜준다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">즐겁다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">하는게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">돈이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">한국에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">도움을청할순</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">형도힘들겟지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">부모님도</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">힘들겟지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">잠을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">잘수</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">어떨땐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">잠이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">쏟아진다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">삼일을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">잠만자고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이틀을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">꼬박센다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">집에서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나갈수</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">도와줄사람은</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">도움을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">받아선</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">안된다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">강해져야한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">누구도</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">도울수</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나만이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">도울수</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">있다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">.  </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">신체리듬이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">깨진후</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내학기를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">위해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">만든</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">만든</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">모델은</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내가한게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">아니다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내탓이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">맘이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">약해서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">그런것일뿐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">가족에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">휘둘려</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">그렇게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">된것일뿐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">좀더강해져야한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">.</span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="ko">시간이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">지나고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">알게된다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">보내준</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그돈은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">형의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">옷과</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">먹을것</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">유흥거리따위로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">쓰여졌단걸</span><span lang="en-us">. </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="ko">형이산</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">옷</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">몇벌과</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">형이먹었던</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">굴과</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">와인이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내어떤것과</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">맏바꾼건지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">감히</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">상상이나</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">할까</span><span lang="en-us">. </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="en-us">      </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="en-us">02-1</span><span lang="ko">부모님은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">최선을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">다하셨다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">생각한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">두분다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">첫째로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">자라오며</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">첫재에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">대한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">편애가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">평범함이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">되어버린</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">두</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">가족의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">장남과</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">장녀</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">가끔</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">그러신다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">느끼는것</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">생각하는것을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">부정하신다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">당연하다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">되어보지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">못하셨기에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">악의보단</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">다름에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이해하지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">않는다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">다만</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이해하고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">느낀다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">하신다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">거짓말이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이해한다고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">말씀하시는게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">오히려</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">모욕하는거라</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">생각한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">깨물어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">안아픈</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">손가락이란</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나에겐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">거짓말일뿐이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">모두안다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">사실이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">아니라는것</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">말하긴껄끄럽지만</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">사실이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">아니지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">않나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">그렇다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">되보지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">못한자의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">오만</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">가난해본적이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없던</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">부자의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">안일한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">변명일</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">뿐이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">어렸을적부터</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">배워왔었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내인생엔</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나보다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">더</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">중요한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">사람이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">있다는걸</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">형</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내모든걸</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">빼앗겨도</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">너무나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">당연한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">사람이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">있다는것</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">자존심</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">자신감</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">사랑까지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">가져가는게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">너무나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">당연한것</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이렇게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">생각한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">부모로서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">최선을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">다한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">부모님의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">얼마</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">단점</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내인생에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나보다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">더</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">소중한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">존재가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">있다는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">각인</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">모든걸</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">형을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">위해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">놓아버리는것이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">착한어린이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">라는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">세뇌</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">엄마의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">눈에서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">보이는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">불쌍하다는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">동정</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">어렸을적</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">혼났을때</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">아빠는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">형의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">자존심을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">세우기</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">위해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">깍아내리셨다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">자존감도</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">같이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">깍아지고있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">아빠는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">아빠의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">첫째에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">대한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이상향을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나와</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">형을통해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이루고싶어했다는걸</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">크고나서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이해했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">부족한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이끌고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">믿음직한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">첫째</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">현실은</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">반대였지만</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">중요하지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">않다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">현실이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">어떻든</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">무슨행동을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">하든</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">형은</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">믿음직한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">첫째</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">부족한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">형이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">경찰서에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">잡혀갔을때</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">일진노릇하고다닐때</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내인생을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">조각내</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">받아갔을때조차</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">믿음직한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">사랑하는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">첫째였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">형은</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">말썽피우지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">않는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">거짓말하지않는둘째</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">말잘듣는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">학교</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">수석하는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">계획하고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">실행하는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">부족한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">믿음이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">가지않는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째일</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">뿐이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">여태</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">노력은</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">무의미</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">하다는걸</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">너무</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">늦게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">알아차린</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">밉다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">노력해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">살이유가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">노력에대한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">보상이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">있을거란생각이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이젠</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">언제나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째일뿐이라는걸</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">느꼈고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">인정했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">누구를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">위해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">내가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">그랬나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">작은아빠의</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">영향이라</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">생각한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">동네에서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">말썽많이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">부렸던</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">여덟살차이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">작은아빠를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">지켜보는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">젊었던</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">아빠가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이젠</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">통해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">작은아빠를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">본다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">아니</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">작은아빠처럼</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">부족하고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">믿음직하지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">않은</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">둘째가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">되기를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">바라는거일수도</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">있다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">그렇게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">되면</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">첫째에대한</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">기대</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">믿음</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">사람이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">높아진다는걸</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">누구보다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">살곁으로</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">느꼈던</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">아빠이기에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">아빠가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">느꼈던</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">조건없는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">, </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">첫째이기에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">느꼇던</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">사랑을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">나는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">받은적이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">무었인지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">이해는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">하지만</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">경험하진</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">못했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">. </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">비슷한걸</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">꼽자면</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">외할머니가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">보여주신</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">애정과</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span><span lang="ko" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">애처로움</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;">.</span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="en-us">02-2</span><span lang="ko">어렸을적</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">형은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">소심하고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">흙에도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">못들어가는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이쁘게생긴아이였고</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">나는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">말도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">많고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">따박따박</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">말대답도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">많이하는</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">조리있게말한다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">표현하시지만</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">활발한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">말썽쟁이였다한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">자라오며</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그래왔다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">집안과</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">밖의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">다른사람이였고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">현재도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그렇다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">말도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">못하고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">부족하고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">웃지않고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">우울하고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">믿음직하지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">못한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">동생인</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">집안의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나와</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그걸</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">보상받으려는건지</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">원래</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사람이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">고프고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사랑이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">고픈나인지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">밖에선</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">본모습이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">보인다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">집안이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그런분위기라기</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">보다는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">부모님이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">원하는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">형제의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이미지를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">벗어나면</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">휘두르는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">눈빛의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">회조리로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">인해</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">잘못된행동이라</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">생각하는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">반복된</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">학습일뿐</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">형보다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">활발하면</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나쁜것</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">형보다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">즐거우면</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나쁜것</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">형보다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">뛰어나면</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">아쉬운것</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">정장</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">소름끼치도록</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">슬픈건</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">부모님</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">본인도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">자각하지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">못하고행해지는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">행동이라는것</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">부모님은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그러신다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">본인은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그러신적이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">없다고</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">맞다</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">부모님이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">악의를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">가지고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">행한건</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">없다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">단지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">자신이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">당연하다고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">생각했끼때문에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">행하신것들이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">옭아매는</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">나를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">누르는</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">나를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">작아지게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">만드는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">것들이였을뿐</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">시간이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">지난</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">지금도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">학습된내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">미운나</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">그것에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">벗어나</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">행동을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">하면</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">당연스레</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">회초리를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">휘두르는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">아빠의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">눈빛</span><span lang="en-us">.  </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="en-us">03-1</span><span lang="ko">내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">참고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">가족곁에사느냐</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">가족이바뀔수있게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이해시키느냐</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">도망가느냐의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">선택이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">있었다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">오랜시간</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">참아온</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">어림엔</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">유아우울증과</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">불안증이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">같이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">있었던걸로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">기억한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">몸이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사시나무떨어지듯</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">떨리고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내감정을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">지우고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">가만이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">있어야</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">했던</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나를위해</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">소중히</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">숨겨두었던</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내모습을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">밖으로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내비췄었다</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">가족을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">벗어난</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이후에</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">나스스로를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사랑하는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나의모습이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">자연스러운것이란걸</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">경험으로배운것이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">아닌</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">외부로부터</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">배웠던</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">스스로가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">불쌍하고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">안쓰러웠다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">내</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">가장</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">했복했던</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">일년</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">고등하교를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">마치고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">대학에와</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내모습으로살수있었던</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">짧디짧은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">일년</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">형이랑</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">연락도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">안했던일년</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">다들</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">여유있어보인다한</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">자라며</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사랑많이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">받았겟다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">자존감</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">강한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">모습</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">나의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">본모습으로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">살수있었던</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그시간이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">너무</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">소중하다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">나는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">누르는게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">없었기</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">때문</span><span lang="en-us">.</span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="en-us">04-1 </span><span lang="ko">그렇다</span><span lang="en-us"> 형은 어렸을적부터 잘생겼다.</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">괜찮다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">그럼에도 평범한모습의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사랑해주고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">위해주는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사람이</span><span lang="en-us"> 많이</span><span lang="ko">있기때문이다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">모두의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사랑을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">받을수</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">없단건</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">어렸을때부터</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">피부로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">배운</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">지혜</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">형이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">싫지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">않다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">소중한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">형이다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">다만</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">샘이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">날뿐</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">가질수없는걸</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">거져가지고있는</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">내인생의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">모든기준을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">정하게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">만든</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">형이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나에게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">좋은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">영향을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">미치지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">않는다는것을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">깨닫고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">피했을뿐</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">가족의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">족쇠에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">더</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이상</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">말리지않고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">미래를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">만들어나가려</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">멀리했을뿐</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">달아났을뿐</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">미워하지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">않는다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">누구나알고있다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">외모와</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그사람의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">행동이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">합쳐져</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그사람의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">삶의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">질을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">바꿀수있다는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">것까지</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">다만</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">어렷을적</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">아무것도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">모르는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나에게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">왜</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">가족든은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">너무하다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">할정도로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">차갑고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">지독했을까</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">작아보였겟지</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">그리고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">하찮아보였겟지</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">이러한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">엄마는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">동정의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">시각으로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">바라본다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">당연한거지</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">가족안의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내모습은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">밖의모습과는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">다른</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나이기에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">작은둘째</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">부족한둘쩨이기에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">친구많은</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">사랑받는</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">자존감높은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">모습이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">거짓이라</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">생각할수도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">있겟지</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">그</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">눈빛이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">참</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">안쓰럽다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">애인에대한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이야기도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">친구에대한이야기도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">행복했던이야기도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">엄마의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">눈에는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">어떤모습으로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">비춰질지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">모르지만</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">안쓰럽게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">바라보는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">눈빛을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">통해</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">행동과</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">말을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">믿지않아</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그저</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">맞춰준다는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">생각이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">떠나질</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">않는다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">엄마가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">불쌍하다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">어리숙한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">아들을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">가지고있다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">생각하는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">엄마의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">마음은</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">어떨까</span><span lang="en-us">? </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> <span style="font-size:11pt;line-height:1.5;"> </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="en-us">05-2</span><span lang="ko">나는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">완벽하지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">않아</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">더</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">화려하다</span><span lang="en-us">.  </span><span lang="ko">화려한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나이기에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">어두운부분도</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">있다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">생각한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">나는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">감기처럼</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">오는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">감정때문에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">많은걸</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">포기해야</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">했다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">어느순간</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">집안에서</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나가지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">못함이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">당황스러웠다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">운이좋으면</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">몇일</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">나쁘면</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">한달내내</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">안전하다고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">생각되는곳</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">밖을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나가지</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">못한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">누구든</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">믿을수아</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">없다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">가족이든</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">친구든</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">의심하고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">경계한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">몇일을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">자고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">몇일을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">깨어있다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">현실이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">무감각해지고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내공간안에서</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사랑받는느낌이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">든다</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">나뿐인</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">공간에서</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사랑받는느낌이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">든다는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사실이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">참</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">묘하다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">형목소리</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">아빠의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">눈빛</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">엄마의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">동정</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">그리고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이모의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">존재가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">옭아맨다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">강해져야</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">하는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나지만</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">저것들에의해</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">약해지는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">너무</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">안쓰럽다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">최선을다해</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">피해본다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">최선을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">다해</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">버텨본다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">그러곤</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">다시</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">휴식을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">취한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">나를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">사랑해준다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">걱정된다며</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">신경쓰인다며</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">연락하고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">참견하고</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">해주시는게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">감사하다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">동시에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">공격하는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">가족의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">관심이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">나를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">힘들게한다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">가족에게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">벗어나기위해</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">산다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;" lang="ko"> </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="en-us">05-3 </span><span lang="ko">대학에서</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">열심히</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">공부를</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">했던이유</span><span lang="en-us">, </span><span lang="ko">사람들의</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">환심을사는방법을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">알기위해</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">노력했던이유</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">스스로</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">강해지려</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">채찍질했던이유</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">모두</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">홀로서고싶었기때문이다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">성공에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">대한</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">갈망</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">대학</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내내</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">잠이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">하찮아졌던</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">이유는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">홀로서기가</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">너무나</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">소중했기때문이다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">하지만</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">원했던</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">자동차</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">디자이너는</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">지나갔다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">회사에</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">출퇴근을하고싶지만</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">언제</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">집에서</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">못나가게</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">될까</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">걱정이</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">앞서기때문이다</span><span lang="en-us">. </span><span lang="ko">그래서</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">내일을</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">찾았다</span><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="ko">비영리소셜디자인</span><span lang="en-us">. </span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;"><span lang="en-us"><br></span></p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;">목적없는 글 읽어주셔서 감사합니다. </p> <p style="margin:0in;font-family:'Malgun Gothic';font-size:11pt;">생각을 정리한다 써본글이 길어져버렸네요.</p>