<div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><embed width="422" height="180" src="http://player.bgmstore.net/JNzcu" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"> </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> </div><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> <div style="text-align:center;"><img width="540" height="304" alt="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1436940583N3wKCaw2xgYwxW3rgIibHdDF11Af2.gif" src="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1436940583N3wKCaw2xgYwxW3rgIibHdDF11Af2.gif"></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"></span> </div> <div align="center" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>외양간이라도 고쳐야지</font></span></div> <div align="center" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>속담처럼 아주 가셨지만</font></span></div> <div align="center" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>할 수 있는 게</font></span></div> <div align="center" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>이것 밖에 남지 않았으니</font></span></div> <div align="center" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font>  </font> <div></div></div> <div align="center" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"><font face="굴림"><</font></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">외양간</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"><font face="굴림">></font></span></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"><font face="굴림"></font></span> </div><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"></span> <div style="text-align:center;"> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;">   <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나는 작가다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">아니 무명작가 혹은 작가 지망생이라고 해야 합리적이겠지</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">변변찮은 작품하나 내지 못했고</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">시인으로써도 등단 이후 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">5</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">년 동안 성과를 본 것이 없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">희곡의 대가를 스승으로 모셔 공부했지만 졸업 이후엔 역시나 아무것도 이룬 것 없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">초등학교 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">6</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">학년</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">같은 반 친구들에게 소설을 써서 보여주었었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">녀석들은 재미있다고</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">네가 쓴 거냐고 칭찬해주었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">딱히 내 새울 것 없고</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">숨기고 싶기만 한 유년시절을 보낸 나에게 이런 사소한 것들은 큰 중대사였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">난생 처음 타인에게 인정받았던 것이니까</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"> </div> <div style="text-align:center;"> <div style="text-align:center;"><img width="500" height="338" alt="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201503/1426379952xuPoOgJc27ovaS9oPvT.jpg" src="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201503/1426379952xuPoOgJc27ovaS9oPvT.jpg"></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">골드</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">라는 제목도 짓고 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">1</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">인칭 시점의 서술을 활용하기도 했던 것이 기억이 난다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내가 그것을 어떤 계기로 쓰게 되었는지</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">어떻게 친구들에게 보여주었는지 상세히 기억은 나지 않지만 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">삶</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">의 진정한 시작이라는 것은 확고하다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><font>중학교 시절</font> </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">미친 듯이</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’ </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">책을 읽었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">무협</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’ ‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">판타지</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’ ‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">만화</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">를 책방에서 빌려보다가 고상하다는 인문학과 순수문학의 장르까지도 가리지 않고 읽었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그 때는 책 읽는 것이 좋았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그리고 주변 친구들도 책 읽는 것을 좋아하는 녀석들로 가득했었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그들에게 나는 글을 써서 보여주었고 평가받고 역량을 키우려 부단히도 애를 썼다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">물론 친구들의 평가는 주로 박했다만</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">즐거운 기억이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  </div> <div style="text-align:center;"><img width="540" height="386" alt="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1437025177jP37vdWs1dQr.jpg" src="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1437025177jP37vdWs1dQr.jpg"></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><font><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">고등학교 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">2</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">학년</span></font><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. ‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">시인</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">으로 등단하는데 성공했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">애초에 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">소설작가</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">가 되려는 목적은 이루지 못했지만 문학의 한 부분으로써 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">시를 이해하고 쓰는 것도 좋다고 생각했기 때문이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그 해에 나는 꽤 많은 것들을 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">열심히 운동을 하여 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">복싱</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">대회에서 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">2</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">등을 했고</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">다니던 교회에서 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘스</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">리랑카</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">로 떠나 어려운 이웃을 돕기도 했었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"> </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">또한 책의 장르의 폭을 넓혀 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">고전</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">과 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">철학</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’ ‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">신학</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’ ‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">심리학</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’ </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">등등의 인문학을 엄청 읽어대기도 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">    </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">하지만 그 해 가장 기쁘고</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">힘들었던 일은 따로 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그것은 바로 </span><font><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">아버지</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">에게 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">문학</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span></font><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><font>을 하겠다고 선언</font>한 것이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">우리 아버지는 내가 책을 읽는 것을 기쁘게 여기시기도 했지만 너무 빠지지 말라 당부하시기도 하셨다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그분은 내가 힘든 일을 하지 말고 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">공무원</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">이나 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">법조인</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">이 되어 편하게 일하라고 어렸을 때부터 누누이 말씀하셨다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"> </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">하지만 하나뿐인 독자가 초토화된 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">한국문학</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">에서 밥을 벌어먹겠다고 하니 얼마나 참담하셨을지 짐작도 할 수 없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그때 당신이 내뱉은 한숨을 이 가슴은 아직도 기억하고 있다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그때 안방에서 일렁였던 그 공기와 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">아주 잠깐이지만 단절된 것 같았던 부자의 연</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">크나큰 실망의 한숨</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;">…… </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">여전히 선명했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">하지만 그날 이후 나는 시인으로 등단했고 아버지는 그 뜻을 굽히셨다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">결국 나를 응원하시기로 결정하신 것 이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그러던 어느 날 나는 아버지 차 조수석에 숨겨져 있던 내 첫 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">동인지</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">를 발견했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내 처녀작이 수록된 계간지인데 그것을 차에 두고 계신다는 것이 얼마나 감동이었는지 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그때 생각을 하면 여전히 눈시울이 붉어지곤 한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> <div style="text-align:center;"><img width="540" height="360" alt="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1437025178L9ozxrm44xDnHfwO4EXGCRFLImcSHI.jpg" src="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1437025178L9ozxrm44xDnHfwO4EXGCRFLImcSHI.jpg"></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내 몸은 그다지 좋지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">성인이 된 후 나는 병을 앓았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">심장병</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">정확히는 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">이형 협심증</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">심장의 근육으로 혈액을 공급하는 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">관상동맥</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">이 자기 멋대로 수축하여 피를 공급하지 못하게 되는 병이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">일시적으로 혈관을 넓히게 해주는 약이 있어 일상생활이 어려운 것은 아니지만 젊은 나이에 그것은 충격적이며 괴로운 일이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">완전히 낫게 해주는 약도 없고</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">밤마다 불안감에 떨며 잠을 설쳐야만 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">대학교 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">1</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">학년</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나는 예술학교에 진학했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">애초에 대학을 다닐 생각이 없었는데</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">교회에서 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">연극</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">을 하고나서 이것이 전문적으로 배우면 꽤 재밌겠다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">! </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">라는 생각이 들어 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">수능을 보지 않았는데도 학교를 들어갈 수 있는 방법을 모색했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그 결과 나는 내 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">등단</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">경력을 통해서 학교에 들어올 수 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">이곳에서 만난 교수님은 대학로를 쥐고 흔들 만큼 강력한 영향력을 가지신 연출가이자 희곡작가셨다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그분의 실력은 대단했고 그 글들을 읽으면 감탄이 절로 나왔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나는 글을 한편씩 써 오라는 그분의 수업에 글을 써갔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">같은 조 동기들과 몇 줄 읽지도 못하고 퇴짜를 맞았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그리곤 정확한 분석과 비판으로 내 글에 칼을 치셨고 결론적으로 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">쓰레기</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">라는 판단을 하셨다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">옆의 친구들은 교수님이 너무하신다고도</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내 심정을 위로하기도 했지만 나는 오히려 오기가 생겼다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그분의 말은 잔인할 정도로 맞았고 내 글에는 개연성과 대사다운 대사가 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">새로 써서 다음 주 수업에 참여했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">자신감이 있었지만 결과는 같았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><strong><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"> </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내 글에는 수많은 문제점들이 넘쳐났고 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">수정</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">도 불가능할 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">쓰레기</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></strong></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그렇게 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">1</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">학년 내내 그 수업에 나는 글 한편 제대로 제출할 수 없을 줄 알았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"> </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">하지만 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">마지막 수업</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">날 처음으로 교수님이 내 글을 끝까지 읽으셨고 수정을 허락하셨다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">수정을 하면 쓸 만하겠네</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.’ </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">라는 말씀이지만 너무 기뻤다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">수정하고 배우들을 모집하고 동기가 연출하여 대학로에 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">연극</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">으로써 올리는데 성공했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">후에 회식자리에서 교수님은 막걸리 한잔 들이키시더니 모두 앞에서 내 오기와 노력을 높이 사셨고 결국 극을 올린 나를 칭찬하셨다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">눈물이 왈칵 쏟아졌었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">모두의 격려 속에서 나는 행복을 느꼈다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나는 그 시절 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">사랑</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">을 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">남중남고를 나와서 여성에 대해서 잘 알지도 못하고 </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">환상만 가져왔던 내가</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">분에 맞지 않는 사람을 보고 반했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">아버지 역시도 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">‘</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">연애는 대학에 가서</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">’</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">하라고 하셨기에 거리낌 없이 그 여성에게 대쉬했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">세 살이 많은 누나였고 하얀 피부에 매력적인 성격</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">톡톡 튀는 정신세계를 가졌던 사람이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">성인이 되었고 처음으로 진지하게 느끼는 이성적 감정이라 그런지 꽤나 병적이었던 것 같다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">당신은 내 내면과 진심을 알겠지만 나를 사랑하기엔 무언가 부족함을 느낀다 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그것은 스스로도 알기 어렵다 말했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">점차 알아가며 진짜로 사랑할 수 있기를 바란다고 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">꽤나 중요한 말이었지만 그것을 너무 쉽게 여겼던 것 같다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">연애를 하다보면 점점 사랑이 생긴다는 흔하고 보편적인 말이 우리에게도 적용될 줄 알았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">하지만 아쉽게도 그렇지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">당신은 오랫동안 나를 사랑하지 못했고</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나는 그런 당신을 기다릴 인내심이 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그것은 많은 트러블을 만들었고 서로를 할퀴고 아프게 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">견딜 수 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;">    </div> <div style="text-align:center;"><img width="540" height="360" alt="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1436754483546JUqYJFBJGZpCoxL.gif" src="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1436754483546JUqYJFBJGZpCoxL.gif"></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>저 매미처럼 원 없이 울고 싶다</font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>나 여기 아파하고 있노라 </font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>그렇게 울다보면</font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>텅 비어버리고</font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>가을에 밟혀 사라져질까</font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font></font><font>  </font> <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font><font face="굴림"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);font-family:'휴먼편지체';"></span></font><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"><font face="굴림" size="1"><</font></span><font size="1"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);">허물</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"><font face="굴림">></font></span></font></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:'함초롬바탕';"><font> </font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><font><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">자살을 선택했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그토록 사랑하는 사람과의 갈등 속에서 이성적 판단이 흐려졌고 극단적인 감성적 판단이 전체를 지배했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">분노를 풀 대상은 그녀였고 이 상황이었지만 사랑하는 사람에게 풀 수 없어 스스로에게 칼끝을 돌린 것이라는 진단이 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그 말대로 나는 심장약인 니트로글리세린을 치사량 이상으로 복용했고 병원에 실려 갔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">고통스럽고 역겨운 위세척을 통해 목숨은 건졌지만 정신은 송장이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">황천에서 육신은 건졌으니 돌아온 이성적 판단은, 망가지고 박살난 감성과 마음을 추스르기 시작했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">정말 잔인한 것은 시일이 지나면서 언제 그랬냐는 듯 온전해지는 정신이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">심리치료와 교회 예배로 마음을 다스렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그것이 너무 쉽게 이루어지는 것이 무척 괴로웠다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내심으로는 괴롭고 고통스러워서 누군가 안아주고</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그녀가 관심을 던져주길 바랬던 것인데 정신은 그럴 필요를 느끼지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">이제는 좀 더 성장할 필요가 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">스스로를 성찰하고 과정을 살펴보아 어떤 실수를 저질렀는지 돌아보게 되었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그 과정에서 한 사람을 만났다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나보다 나이는 많지만 솔직히 연륜이나 지혜가 있다 생각하지는 않았었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">하지만 그 분은 일찍이 어른이 된 사람이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">수척해진 몰골이지만 그 분을 만나 조언을 듣게 되었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그것은 지금의 내가 있게 한 말이었고 어린아이였던 나를 한층 더 어른으로 성장시켜준 말이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나는 내가 어른인줄 알았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">몸도 마음도 생각도 장성한 줄 알았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">하지만 아니었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">당신의 이야기를 들으면 들을수록 어리고 유약하기만 했던 것을 깨달을 수 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그리고 그토록 멀리 가버린 그녀를 그만 놓아줄 수 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:left;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;">  </div> <div style="text-align:center;"><img width="540" height="304" alt="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1436754483f2vJSgPa2BmsYt2Yn32F.gif" src="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1436754483f2vJSgPa2BmsYt2Yn32F.gif"></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:left;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:left;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"> <div></div> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"><font face="굴림">. </font></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);">인연이 다해 마침표를 찍었다</span></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>미련이 남아 마음을 때지 못하고 </font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"><font face="굴림">, </font></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);">여운 한줄기 흘렸다</span></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font>  </font> <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"><font face="굴림">. </font></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);">너는 그 간결한 단말마처럼</span></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);"><font>더 이상의 여지는 허락하지 않았다</font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font>  </font> <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"><font face="굴림">, </font></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);">행복한 쉼이었으니 </span></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'휴먼편지체';"><font face="굴림">. </font></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);color:rgb(51,51,51);">너를 찍어야겠지</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:'함초롬바탕';"> </span></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><font>  </font> <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);margin:0pt 0pt 4pt;text-align:center;line-height:14.25pt;text-indent:0pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"><font><,.></font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:'함초롬바탕';"><font></font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">이별이든 만남이든 그리움이든 그 어떤 것이든 사랑에 속한 것들이 시절에 가득 찰 때면 시가 써졌다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">시인으로써 그것들을 승화시킬 수 있다는 특권에 감사했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">스스로를 성찰하고 성장하고 조금 더 안정적인 감성과 뚜렷한 이성을 확보해야만 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그것이 내가 정한 문학의 길이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">온전한 정신을 보유하지 않고 글을 쓴다면 허점투성이의 글이 될 거라고 판단되었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그래서 책도 열심히 읽고 경험도 최대한 많이 쌓으려 노력했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">놀랍게도 어느 날 나를 사랑한다는 여자가 나타났다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">학벌도 좋고 외모도 아름다웠으나 성격이 유약하고 심성이 착했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">아쉽게도 그녀의 외면과 달리 내면은 내가 바라는 모습은 아니었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">지혜롭고 생각이 깊고</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">합리적이며 이성적인</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그러면서도 약간의 특이하고 밝은 성격을 원했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그래서 그녀를 사랑하지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그러나 만나기로 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내가 처음 사랑한 여성에게 바랐듯 만나다 보면 사랑이 생기지 않을까 하는 기대감이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">아니 어쩌면 그녀에게 보란 듯이 싹을 틔우길 원했던 것인지도 모른다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">결과부터 말하자면 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">실패했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">    </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나는 그녀에게 전혀 매력을 느끼지 못했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">손잡고 이야기를 나눌 때도</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">고풍스런 술집에서 칵테일을 마실 때도</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">같이 영화를 볼 때도</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">서로의 혀를 탐닉하며 키스를 할 때도</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">잠자리를 같이 할 때도 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그 어느 때도 그녀를 사랑하지 못했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">할 수 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><font><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">헤어졌다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그것이 내 이상형이 아닌 그녀의 문제라 치부해왔지만 문득 이런 생각이 든다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">사랑에 상처받은 마음이 더 이상 그 기능을 상실해 버린 것이 아닐까 하는 불길한 생각</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">오랫동안 누군가에게 사랑이라는 마음을 줄 수가 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><font><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내 문학도 단절되기 시작했다</span></font><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">시는 더 이상 손에 잡히지 않았고 글의 소재는 떠오르지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">사랑에 가슴아파하고 조금씩 성장하고 보아하니 어느덧 스물하고도 셋이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">학교를 졸업하고 여러 제의를 받았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">함께 글을 써서 영화를 찍자는 제의</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">장르문학 출판사에서 잘 팔리는 판타지를 써달라는 제의</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">연극을 하자는 제의 등등</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">하지만 다 거절하고 큰 회사에서 좋은 프로젝트를 하는 일을 하기로 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그런데 사기를 당하고 돈만 뜯겼다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">문학에 회의감이 드는 순간이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내가 원하는 글을 쓰기가 너무 힘들었고 출판사는 무명작가의 글을 선뜻 출판해주려 하지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그렇다고 장르 문학을 쓰기엔 탐탁지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그것의 본질을 비하하는 것은 아니지만</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">지금 장르 문학시장은 비판받아 마땅할 수준까지 타락했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">물론 여전히 소신을 굽히지 않는 작가들도 있지만 내가 보기엔 대부분 그러했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><font> </font> <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><font><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">갈 곳이 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><font><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">쓸 글이 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><font>  </font></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">조금은 허망했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">열심히 배우고 글을 써왔는데 일자리가 없고 내 글을 받아주는 이가 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그렇다고 정말 좋은 글을 써서 모든 난관을 부수고 당당하게 성공할 자신도 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내 머리는 더 이상 좋은 글을 써낼 여력이 없는 모양이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">이 글도 그냥 주절주절 쓰는 글이지만 작가의 글이라기엔 형편없는 것을 나도 잘 안다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그러나 단어를 고치고 문장을 바꿀 생각은 없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나는 완벽한 문장을 중시해왔지만 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그것이 과연 의미가 있는 수고인가 하는 생각도 든다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">숨김없이 그냥 그대로</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">흐르는 것을 따라 쓰는 것은 어떨까</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">? </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">쓰</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">다보면 무언가 나오지 않을까</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">? </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">뭐든지 쓰다보면</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;">…… </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나오지 않을까</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">? </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">하는 막연한 기대감으로</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">내가 지금까지 추구했던 온전한 정신과 완전한 문장으로는 해답이 보이지 않아서</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">그 반대로 달려가는 것 일지도 모른다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">해답은 어디 있는 걸까</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">?</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  </div> <div style="text-align:center;"><img width="540" height="211" alt="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1436754483O3NISXQDeQGA.gif" src="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201507/1436754483O3NISXQDeQGA.gif"></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">뭐라도 하자는 심정으로 상업영화의 막내로써 일을 하다가 결국 군대에 들어갔지만</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">심장을 옥죄는 병 때문에 입영심사대에서 떨어져 4급판정을 받고 귀가해야만했다.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">글을 써야하는데 그것이 내 소명이고 비전이라 여겼는데</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나는 재주가 있다고 믿고 달려왔는데 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">손에 잡힌 것은 아무것도 없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">아무것도</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">톨스토이나 </span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">C.S </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">루이스</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">, </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">톨킨처럼 위대한 대문호가 되고 싶다는 꿈 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">심지어 그들을 뛰어넘어서겠다는 </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">가상하면서도 오만할지도 모를 야망을 품었던 <font>젊은 애송이가</font></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">자신의 재능이 사실 부족했음을 </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">깨닫고 무너지고 있다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span> </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">마침 심장에 병도 있겠다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">포기하는 형태가 아닌 아쉽게 실패한 모습으로 죽어가는 건 어떨지 생각해보기도 한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">그런 생각을 하긴 하지만, 내면 깊숙한 곳에서는 애송이의 꿈이 여전히 꿈틀거리고 있었다. </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">사랑하고 사랑해서, 독자들의 심금을 울리는 귀한 문학, 사랑하는 사람의 마음에 꽃을 피워줄 아름다운 문학.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">그런 것들을 꿈꾸고 싶었다. 사랑도, 어떠한 영감도, 신도 찾아오시질 않는 이 인생에서도 나는  </span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  </div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"> </div> <div style="text-align:center;"><img width="540" height="299" alt="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201506/1435122689aRzpdTizjBdAyfnB.jpg" src="http://thimg.todayhumor.co.kr/upfile/201506/1435122689aRzpdTizjBdAyfnB.jpg"></div> <div align="center" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"> </div> <div align="center" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div align="center" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">여전히</span></div> <div align="center" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">나는 작가</span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;">…… </span><span style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">였으면 좋겠다</span><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';">.</span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);"><span lang="en-us" style="background:rgb(255,255,255);font-family:'함초롬바탕';"></span></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">  <div></div></div> <div style="background:rgb(255,255,255);">     <br><br><br></div>