<p class="p1"><span class="s1">내</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">마음은</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">중학교</span><span class="s2"> 3</span><span class="s1">학년</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">때부터</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">단단히</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">망가져서</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">도저히</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">바로잡힐</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">수가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">없다는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">걸</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">안다</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">나는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">항상</span><span class="s2">, </span><span class="s1">너희들이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">한</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">단순한</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">말들이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">내</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">인생을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">송두리째</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">앗아갔다는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">걸</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">똑똑히</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">기억했으면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">좋겠어</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">그런데</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">기억할</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">수도</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">없을거야</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">너희는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">모르니까</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">단순히</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">별</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">생각없는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">장난으로</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">한</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">말이라고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">변명할거야</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">장난으로</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">던진</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">돌에</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">개구리는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">맞아죽는다는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">말이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그렇게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">가벼운</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">속담이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아닌데</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그걸</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">죽을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">때까지</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">모를거야</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">너희는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">어떤</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">사람을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">욕할거야</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">토막살인을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">낸</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">살이마나</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">연쇄살인범이나</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">강간범을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">보면서</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">욕할거야</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">그런데</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그걸</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아니</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">나한테</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너네는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그런</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">살인귀들과</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">전혀</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">다르지</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">않다는걸</span><span class="s2">?</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">나는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">살아남았어</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">살아남았다는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">표현이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">맞아</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">너희들이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">가벼운</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">마음으로</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그걸</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">말했던지</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아닌지는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">전혀</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">상관없어</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">너희들은</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">날</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">죽이려들었어</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">난</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">거의</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">죽었고</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">대학에</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">오고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">처음으로</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">친구들하고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">즐겁게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">웃으며</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">생활한다는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">얼마나</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">행복한지를</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">알았지</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">난</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">정말로</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너네가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">죽었으면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">좋겠어</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">죽거나</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아니면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">불구가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">되거나</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아님</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">자식들이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">나랑</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">똑같은</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">년이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">되거나</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">일그러진</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">감정을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">어떻게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">다시</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">바로필</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">수</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">있을까</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">단단히</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">망가졌어</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">난</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">죽었으면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">좋겠어</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">죽었으면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">좋겠어</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">죽었으면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">좋겠어</span><span class="s2">..</span></p> <p class="p3"><span class="s1"><a target="_blank" href="https://twitter.com/2o15o213/status/680457126041399296" target="_blank"></a></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">피해자를</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">두고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">예민하다고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">말하는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">건</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">어떤</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">파렴치한일까</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">도대체</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">어떻게해야</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">용서를</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">구할</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">수</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">있느냐고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">소리지르는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">가해자만큼</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">소름돋는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">싸이코패스가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">또</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">어디에있을까</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">난</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희를</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">용서할</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">생각이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">없어</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">전혀</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">없어</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">멀쩡해보이겠지</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">겉으론</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그럴거야</span></p> <p class="p4"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">온갖</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">사소한</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">일에</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">고맙다고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">말하고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">온갖</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">사소한</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">일에</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">미안하다고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">사과하고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">온갖</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">별</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">거</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아닌</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">일에</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">과민반응하고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">깔깔웃고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">즐거워하고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">이런</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">전부</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너네</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">눈에는아무렇지않아보이겠지이게전부후유증이라는걸너네는절대로모를거야내가얼마나망가졌는지를</span></p> <p class="p4"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">어떻게한사람의인생을이렇게망가뜨려놓고서그렇게웃으며잘지낼수가있어</span><span class="s2">?</span><span class="s1">난정말너네가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">죽었으면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">좋겠어</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">너네</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">엄마가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">창녀고</span><span class="s2"> (</span><span class="s1">거짓말이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아니라</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">진짜로</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너네</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">엄마는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">창녀였잖아</span><span class="s2">) </span><span class="s1">네</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">남동생이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">이복</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">동생이고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">니가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">장애인이고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">병자고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">정신병잔지</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">뭔지</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">내가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">알바</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아니야</span></p> <p class="p4"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">죽었으면좋겠어</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그냥</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">니가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">죽었으면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">좋겠어</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">너</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">뿐만</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아니야</span><span class="s2">. </span><span class="s1">너</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">하나가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아니지</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">사회적으로라도</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">매장당하면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">좋겠어</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">참</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너네는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">별</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">거</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아니라고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">생각할텐데</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">그리고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">또</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">보기에</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">나는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">꽤</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">멀쩡하게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">잘</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">살고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">있는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">것</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">같거든</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">그래비록</span></p> <p class="p4"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">일평생</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">남</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">눈치나</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">보면서</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">살면서</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">지금</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">혼잣말짓껄이는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">곳에서조차</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">못</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">말할</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">정도로</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">겁에</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">질린</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">모습을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">도대체</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">어디서</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">볼</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">수</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">있겠니</span></p> <p class="p4"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p5"><span class="s1">행복해서</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">좋겠다</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p6"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">나도</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희처럼</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">행복하고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">싶었는데</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p7"><span class="s1">참</span><span class="s3"> </span><span class="s1">내가</span><span class="s3"> </span><span class="s1">바란</span><span class="s3"> </span><span class="s1">건</span><span class="s3"> </span><span class="s1">별</span><span class="s3"> </span><span class="s1">게</span><span class="s3"> </span><span class="s1">아니었어</span><span class="s3">.</span></p> <p class="p8"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p9"><span class="s4">그냥</span><span class="s1">...</span></p> <p class="p10"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">그냥</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">정말</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">별</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아니었지</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">그냥</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희처럼</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">살고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">싶었던</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">것</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">뿐이야</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">이렇게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">망가져서</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">삐그덕거리는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">걸</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">도대체</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">누가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">좋아해줄까하는</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">의뭉스러운</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">혹을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">달고서</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">그냥</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">평생</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">남</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">눈치나</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">보면서</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">살게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">될거야</span></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">덕분에</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">말이야</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">덕분에</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">결국엔</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">나</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">혼자서도</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">충분하다라는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">말만하면서</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">서있게돼</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p11"><span class="s4">참</span><span class="s1">  </span><span class="s4">같잖고</span><span class="s1">...</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p12"><span class="s1">도대체 누가 멀쩡할 수 있겠어?</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">아침</span><span class="s2"> 7</span><span class="s1">시부터</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">오후</span><span class="s2"> 5</span><span class="s1">시까지</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">나를</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">싫어하는</span><span class="s2"> 39</span><span class="s1">명의</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">눈초리를</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">받으며</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">감금</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">생활한다고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">생각해봐</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그런</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">곳에서</span><span class="s2"> 4</span><span class="s1">년을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">지내면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">사람이</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">제정신일</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">것</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">같나</span><span class="s2">?</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">그게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">어떻게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">제정신일수가있어</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">제정신이면</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">진짜로</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">또라이인거아니야</span><span class="s2">?</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">그걸</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">어떻게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">그렇게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">쉽게</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">극복해낼</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">수가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">있는데</span><span class="s2">?</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">너희가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">생각해도</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">이거</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">진짜</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">사회적</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">타살</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">아니야</span><span class="s2">?</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">가슴에</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">손을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">얹고</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">생각해봐</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">도대체</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희가</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">무슨</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">짓을</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">했는지</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p1"><span class="s1">나는</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">너희를</span><span class="s2"> </span><span class="s1">죽일거야</span><span class="s2">.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p12"><span class="s1">너희는 죽는 게 옳아.</span></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p> <p class="p2"><span class="s1"></span><br></p>