10월 17일 내 둘째 조카가 태어나는 날 오후 2시 우린 만났지..
너무 좋았어 내 차 문을 열고 탔던 너에게서 났던 향수 내기 어떤 향수 쓰냐고 물어봣지? 근데 넌 헤어지고 난 다음 내가 향수를 주려하자...왜 내가 받아야 하냐며 말을 하네 ㅎㅎ
진짜 행복은 잠시였고 후유증만 깊게 남았다 너가 너무 좋은데 국시 준비하는 너 그 이유로 헤어지자 했었지 이제 며칠 남지 않았다며 그래 오빠도 다 이해해...그래서 응원한다며 밥 한번 먹자했지 우린 맛있게 먹고 마지막 키스를 나눴고 포옹도 했지 참..뭐랄까 너무 좋은데 너무 좋아서 잃기 싫은데 잃은 느낌이였어 도무제 허전함에 어쩔 줄 모르겠더라구 지금도 잠이 안와...다시 너 같은 사람 만날 수 있을까 하고 시험 전까지 연락하지 말라던 너..근데 그 와중에 다른 사람하곤 연락 잘되고 잘하고 있을거란 생각이 자꾸들어서 괘씸해 그리고 연락을 계속하게 돼 왜냐면 그렇게 안하면 너가 날 잊을거같아 왜냐면 넌 우리가 만났던 마지막 날 자꾸 날 피하려 했으니까 나한테 좋아하지 않는다 말했으미까 난 엄청 울었지 첨이었어 이렇게 사랑때문에 눈물이 났던건 결론은 그거야 너랑 다시 잘되고 싶은데 잘해보구 싶은데 너가 다른 사람 만난다면 넘 싫고 화나고 슬플거같은데 곧 다가올 크리스마스도 너무 싫구나..난 왜 항상 이 모양인지 모르겠어...넌 지금 잠도 잘자고 내 생각않고 잘지내고 있을텐데 너의 퉁명스런 단답문지 사귀면서 했던 너의 말들이 자꾸 내 게억속에 맴돌아 오늘은 너가 뚱뚱하다고 돼지라고 말했던 네 말에 열심히 운동하려 살빼려 헬스도 끊었어 그리고 좀 변하려고 그런데 첫 날부터 또 잠에서 깼다...너가 너무 생각이 나서 나 어떻게 너가 너무 보고싶은데 너랑 같이 있고 싶은데... 왜 날 싫어하는거니... 사랑하긴 했던거니... 잠이 안와... 너가 너무 생각나