<span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"후우...."</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">깊게 잠긴 담배연기가 자유로이 뿜어져 나갔다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">언제부터인걸까...</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">지금의 나는 한숨과 함께 나오는 담배연기마저도 부러웠다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"크크크.."</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">지금 내 얼굴은 과연 어떤 표정을 짓고 있는 것일까?</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">울고 있는 것인가? 웃고 있는 것인가?</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"후우...."</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">손가락 마디마디 사이의 접히는 부분이 시꺼멓게 줄이 쳐진 것 같다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">;탁.탁.;</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">담배꽁초를 아무렇게나 던지며 자판기 앞으로 다가섰다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">옥상위 자판기의 일반커피 200원, 고급커피 300원...</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">빌어먹을 커피마저도 격이 있다는 듯이 가격이 나뉜다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">익숙한 몸짓으로 일반커피에 손이 가던 것을 오기라도 부리듯 고급커피 쪽으로 손을 돌려 누른다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"뭐 이런 것도 괜찮겠지. 시발."</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">쓴 웃음을 지으며 약간의 욕덩어리가 입밖으로 나온다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">커피자판기에 종이컵이 떨어진 것인지 주르륵 소리와 함께 뜨거운 커피만 흘러나온 것이다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">주머니를 뒤적거리며 구겨진 담배갑의 마지막 한 개피를 입에 물고 불을 붙였다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"후우...."</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"콜록콜록.."</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">담배연기가 그쪽까지 갔을 리도 없는데 젊은 여사원이 과한 행동을 보이며 눈살을 찌푸린다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">자못 미안한 마음에 자판기에서 떨어진 구석으로 가는데 여사원의 조금 큰 혼잣말이 들렸다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">개념...매너...양심... 자세히 듣지 않고 띄엄띄엄 들어도 결코 나에게 좋은 소리를 하는 것이 아니라는 걸 알 수 있었다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">커피자판기에 돈을 넣고 코코아를 뽑아드는 모습에 나도 모르게 허탈해졌다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">망할 자판기가 이제는 사람마저 가리는 것일까?</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">일회용 종이컵을 들고 계단을 내려가는 여사원을 보며 기묘한 생각에 빠져본다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">그래도 좋다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"후우...."</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">드디어 옥상 위라는 공간이 나 혼자만 있는 곳이 되었으니까.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">;나가! 이 새끼야! 이걸 지금 보고서라고 작성해왔어?;</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">상사의 욕찌꺼기가 내 몸을 타고 올라오는 듯한 기분이 들었다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">나이 마흔에 어디 가서 하소연할 수도 없고, 마냥 담배 한 개피만이 나를 위로 했다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"후우...."</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">웃긴다. 담배를 피우면서 내가 내뱉는 한숨이 일정한 형태를 지녔다가 사라지는 모습을 볼 수 있다는 것이...</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">옥상 난간에 두 팔을 걸친 채 건물 밖의 모습을 바라봤다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">숨 가쁘게 살아가는 사람들...</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">누군가도 나처럼 옥상위에서 담배를 피우며 쓰디쓴 약을 씹은 표정을 짓고 있을까..?</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">도시라는 이름의 사막에서 나는 있을지 없을지도 모를 사람을 찾아 눈동자를 돌려본다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">목이 갑갑하다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">졸라오는 듯한 넥타이를 풀어당기며 왠지 모를 갈증에 자판기에 대한 욕을 지껄여본다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"후우..."</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">;탁.탁.;</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">마지막 담배의 불을 끄며 밖을 향해 담배꽁초를 튕겨 버렸다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">갑자기 민들레 꽃씨가 생각났다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">하늘거리며 바람따라 날아다니는 하얀 조각들...</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">지금보다 못먹고 못입었던 어렸을 때였지만, 입으로 불면서 아무런 걱정 없이 날아가는 꽃씨에 즐거워했던 때가 있었다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"지금도 괜찮지 않을까?"</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">문득 생각난 것에 찌그러져있던 얼굴을 피면서 조금은 후련한 표정을 지었다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">지금도 늦지 않았으니 나도 자유롭게 날아다닐 수 있지 않을까?</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">넥타이를 벗어던지고 와이셔츠를 바지 밖으로 내놓은 채 바람이 불어오는 방향으로 두 팔을 벌렸다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">그래, 조금만 더. 조금만 더 가벼워지자. 바람을 타고 꽃잎처럼 날아오르자.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">하늘을 향해 힘껏 뛰어오르는 내 몸은 자유로웠고,</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">이윽고 바람을 타고 날아다니던 꽃잎처럼 바닥을 향해 내려앉는다.</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"쿵!"</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br /> <div><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">"꺄아아아아악!!!!!!!!"</span><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><br style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px" /><span style="font-family: Gulim; line-height: 21px">아...편ㅎ.....</span></div>