<p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"> 드디어 1화를 썼습니다. 원래 생각했던 분량을 넘어서 당황;;</p><p></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;">다음부터는 분량이 좀 줄어들 거예요. 요즘 일이 바빠서 집필할 시간이...흡 ㅠㅠ</p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;">전개가 루즈해지지 않게 신경 썼는데 효과가 있을지 모르겠습니다.</p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;">그럼 전 프롤로그 링크를 남기고 이만.</p> <p style="text-indent:10pt;"><span style="line-height:24px;"><a target="_blank" href="http://todayhumor.com/?animation_343337">http://todayhumor.com/?animation_343337</a></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><br></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;">----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><br></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><br></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>고백 준비는 완벽하다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>오늘을 위해 미리 학교 옥상 문을 열어두었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그 아이 책상 서랍 속에 방과 후 저녁을 먹기 전 잠깐 옥상으로 올라오라는 편지도 넣어두었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>평소 옥상 문이 잠겨 있는 탓에 장난이라 생각할 수도 있으니 옥상 문은 개방돼 있다는 사실도 함께 적었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>전날 밤 수백 번 되뇌었던 고백 멘트를 다시 곱씹어본다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. ‘</span><span>네가 좋아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>전부터 널 좋아했어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>우리 사귈래</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?’ </span><span>연애서적과 인터넷을 뒤져서 찾아낸 고백용 멘트보다 솔직하고 담백하게 말하라는 몇몇 친구들의 조언으로 결정된 문장들이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>분명 한 달 전부터 어젯밤까지 수백</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>수천 번은 되뇌었던 말인데 막상 얼굴을 맞대고 말하려니 심장이 진정되지 않는다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>후</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">- </span><span>후</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">- </span><span>후</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">-”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>규칙적으로 나오는 깊은 호흡은 내가 얼마나 긴장했는지 알려주었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>심호흡 횟수가 잦아질수록 손이 떨리는 강도도 올라갔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이제 곧 옥상 문을 열고 그 아이가 들어오겠지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>무슨 말을 하지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>어제 생각해뒀던 말이 있지</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">……</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>뭐였더라</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>생각 안 나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>뭐였지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이러면 안 되는데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>벌써 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">4</span><span>시 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">50</span><span>분이야</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>석식은 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">5</span><span>시 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">20</span><span>분이니까 아직 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">30</span><span>분 남았어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>왜 불렀는지 고민하느라 석식을 거르고 올 수도 있겠지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>오늘 저녁은 못 먹는 건가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>머릿속이 새하얘진다는 </span><span style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;">게 이런 걸까</span><span lang="en-us" style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>잡생각들이 새하얘지는 머릿속을 메웠다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>덕분에 간결했던 고백용 멘트를 까먹고 말았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이러다간 고백하려고 옥상에 올라왔다는 사실마저 잊어버릴 기세였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나는 다시 길게 심호흡을 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>후우</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">ー</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>신에게 기도라도 하고 싶은 심정이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>있는지 없는지도 모르지만</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>누군가에게 나의 걱정과 고민을 시원하게 털어버리고 싶은 생각이 머릿속을 어지럽혔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>마침내 그 생각이 고백해야 한다는 의지를 꺾어버렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>난 선 채로 굳었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>주위의 소리가 좀먹히고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>세상의 모든 현상들이 나의 내면 안으로 뭉개져 들어왔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>하늘이 아찔했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>뭉개진 것들은 나에게 가하는 채찍으로 돌아왔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>보충을 빼먹고 운동장에서 공을 차는 아이들의 목소리가 나를 질책하는 소리로 왜곡되어 들렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>하늘을 나는 새소리가 나를 비웃는 것처럼 들렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>노을이 산등성이로 몸을 구겨 넣고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그 모습은 마치 세상이 종말하는 신호로 보였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이 세상이 아니라 나의 세상이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>끼익</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>철문 소리가 비웃음으로 들어찬 옥상에 울렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>왔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>등 뒤로 들리는 그 아이의 발걸음 하나하나가 심장과 박자를 맞추어가고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>사실 내 심장이 그 아이의 발걸음에 맞춰 빨라지는 중이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>어쩌지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이제 어떡해야 하는 거지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>문득 내게 연애 조언을 해줬던 한 친구의 말이 날뛰는 심장소리 사이로 비집고 들어왔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">‘</span><span>쫄면 망하는 거야</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>멍청아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.’</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>이 상황에서 안 쫄 수가 있겠냐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>친구놈아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>발걸음이 멈췄다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이제 내 심장의 고동만이 긴박한 박자를 타고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>무슨 말을</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;"> </span><span>먼저 꺼내야 할까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>아니</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>그보다 그 아이도 하고 싶은 말이 있을까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>있다면 어떤 말을 먼저 할까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;">날 부른 게 너야</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>대화를 그 아이가 선점했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>등을 돌려야 된다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>발이 육중했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이미 발은 옥상 바닥과 혼연일체를 이룬 지 오래였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>움직여</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>움직여</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>움직여</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>바보 같은 발아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>난 뚱딴지같이 발을 움직이기보다 하늘을 올려다보았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>구름이 흘러가고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>억겁의 시간이 구름을 타고 나를 비웃던 노을 쪽으로 흐르고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>생각 같아선 영화배우처럼 등을 돌려 또박또박하게 마음을 전달하고도 남는 시간이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>성준아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>그 아이의 목소리가 미세하게 떨렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그렇구나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>너도 긴장되는구나</span><span style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>어</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">…</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>아직 등을 돌리지 못한 채로 우물거렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>바보다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>난 이 세상에서 가장 완벽한 등신이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">! </span><span>바닥에서 떨어지지 않는 발은 무너질 정도로 위태롭게 흔들렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이런 사소한 하나하나도 그 아이는 보고 있지 않을까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>빠르게 눈을 감았다 뜨는 매순간조차 고통이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>할 말 없는 것 같으니까 가볼게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>안 돼</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그 아이가 발을 돌린다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>어서 등을 돌려 잡아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>멍청아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>괜히 긴장 덜해보겠다고 등을 돌려가지고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>아아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>가지 마</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>가면 안 돼</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>해야 할 말이 있단 말이야</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>지금 아니면 못할 것 같다고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>제발 가지 마</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>가지 마</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">……</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>간신히 그 아이 쪽으로 몸을 돌려 말했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>가던 발길을 멈추고 그 아이도 내 쪽을 돌아보았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>온몸을 무너뜨릴 기세로 쿵쾅거리는 심장을 따라 그 아이의 모습이 흔들리고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그와중에 허리춤까지 내려오는 진한 갈색머리는 선하게 보였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>말이 없길래</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">……</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>그게</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">…</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>또 말을 얼버무리고 말았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>자꾸만 시선이 그 아이의 신발에 고정되었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">‘</span><span>눈을 보면서 얘기해야 돼</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.’</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>이번에는 침묵 사이로 연애 조언을 해줬던 친구의 말이 들렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>어떻게 눈을 보란 말이야</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>이 상황에서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>좀 현실적인 조언을 해줬어야지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>도대체 하고 싶은 말이 뭔데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;">”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>내 태도가 답답했는지 그 아이가 보채기 시작했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>어느새 목소리에서 떨림도 사라졌다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>동감한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>내가 봐도 내가 한심해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>조</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">……</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>조</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">…</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>좀 더 말해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>좀 더</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>좀 더 크게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>좀 더 또박또박하게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>좀 더 자신 있게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">!</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>조</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">… </span><span>조</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">… </span><span>좋아</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">……</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>응</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">? </span><span>뭐라고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">? </span><span>잘 안 들려</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>계속 말끝이 흐려진다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>포기할까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이런 식으로 말하면 안 하느니만 못한데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>동공에 지진이라도 났나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>왜 이렇게 흔들거리지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>좋아하는 사람도 제대로 못 보잖아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>한심해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>너무 한심해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그냥 이대로 옥상에서 떨어지고 싶다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나는</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>정말 멍청이네</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"> </p><p></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>나는 세간에서 흔히 말하는 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">‘</span><span>모쏠</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">’</span><span>이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>모태솔로</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>곰곰이 생각해보면 참 잔인한 말이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>솔로인 것도 서러운데 태어날 때부터 솔로라니</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>억울한 심정으로 변명하자면 난 중학교 때까지 이성에 관심이 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>자랑은 아니지만 같은 반 여자애들에게 고백 받은 적도 몇 번 있었는데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>관심이 가지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>화목한 가정에서 자랐고 정신적인 문제도 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그저 연애라는 행위에</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>사랑이라는 감정에 조금 비껴있는 사람이라고 생각했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>간혹 친구들이 나를 보고 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">‘</span><span>별종</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">’</span><span>이라고 말했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>연애와 사랑은 생각보다는 감정의 영역이기 때문에 인간이라면 누구나 그 감정에 속하는 것이 당연하다고 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나는 아니었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>그런데 고등학교에 진학한 후 미묘한 감정의 변화를 느꼈다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>처음엔 다른 학교</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>다른 지역에서 온 아이들에게 느끼는 이질감인 줄 알았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나와 우리 부모님은 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">‘</span><span>학교란 굳이 멀리 갈 필요 없다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">’</span><span>는 인식이 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>유치원 때부터 중학교까지 나는 집에서 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">10</span><span>분 거리를 넘는 곳에 통학해본 적이 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>하지만 집 근처 고등학교가 사립인데다 워낙 명문이라 진학하기 어렵다고 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">3</span><span>학년 담임선생님은 말했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그 말대로였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나는 집 근처 고등학교 진학에 실패했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. 10</span><span>분 이상 걸어본 적이 없는 통학로를 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">20</span><span>분 정도 버스를 타고 가야 하는 곳으로 배정받았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>싫지는 않아도 씁쓸했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>우리 중학교 출신은 내가 유일했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>거기서 오는 이질감이 내 감정이 변화한 이유라고 여겼다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>학기 초에 해당하는 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">3</span><span>월이 지나고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>감정변화가 이질감에서 오는 것이 아님을 깨달았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나는 친화력이 좋은 편이어서 새로운 얼굴들과 금방 친해졌다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이질감은 순식간에 무뎌졌고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>나는 학교에 완벽히 적응했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그런데도 사라지지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>가슴속에서 누군가 방아를 찧는 듯한 감정은 여전했고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>어느 순간 온몸의 피가 머리까지 치솟아 현기증이 날 만큼 어지러운 현상이 추가됐다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이대로 가다간 수업 중 어지럼증으로 쓰러져버리는 게 아닐까 싶었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>원인을 찾아야 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>주변을 둘러보면 해답을 찾을 수 있을 것 같았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>의외로 원인은 가까이 있는 경우도 있으니까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>가족 문제일 리는 없으니까 패스</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그렇다고 새로 사귄 친구들 때문은 아니었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이미 그들은 내 생활의 일부가 되었고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>감정이 변화할 요소라고는 눈 씻고 찾아봐도 보이지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>갈수록 의문은 무성해지기만 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>수업시간에도 제대로 집중하지 못하고 감정변화의 원인을 찾아 헤맸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>수학 선생님이 칠판에 수학 문제들을 적어 내려갈 때마다 내 고민도 수학 문제처럼 명쾌한 답이 나오면 좋겠다는 생각을 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>하는 수 없이 나는 새로 사귄 친구에게 고민을 털어놓았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>김세호라는 친구인데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>사교성이 좋아 내가 제일 먼저 사귄 친구였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나는 세호에게 고등학교 진학 후 변화한 감정들과 이에 따라오는 증상들을 차근차근 설명했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>바보야</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>그거 사랑이네</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>사랑</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>뜻밖의 대답이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>그래</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>사랑</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>너 누구 좋아하는 거네</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>넌 도대체 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">17</span><span>년 살면서 뭘 했길래 그런 것도 파악 못 하냐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>당연히 나는 세호의 질문에 대한 답변으로 여태껏 이성에 흥미가 없었노라고 얘기했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>여자애들에게 받았던 고백도 모두 거절했다는 이야기도</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>너</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">… </span><span>연애고자냐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>세호의 말이 날카롭게 가슴을 파고들었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그보다 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">17</span><span>년 동안 미동도 없던 감정이 왜 이제야 주체하지 못하고 날뛰는지 궁금해졌다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>그럴지도</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그렇다면 난 누굴 좋아하는 거지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>뭐라는 거야</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">…</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>넌 자기가 좋아하는 사람도 몰라</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>응</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>모르겠어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>나는 웃으면서 대답했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>이 새끼</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>이거</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">… </span><span>해맑은 것 좀 보소</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>도저히 믿을 수 없다는 듯한 표정으로 세호는 말했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>뒤이어 세호는 나보다 더 고뇌에 빠진 얼굴로 무언가 곰곰이 생각했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>우리 반 여자애들 중에 있는 게 아닐까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>우리 반 여자애들</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>생각해봐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. 17</span><span>년 동안 철벽남인데다가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>집이랑 학교 빼고 딱히 어디 잘 안 간다며</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>응</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>어릴 때부터 집 근처 동네에서 놀고 학교도 가까이 있었던 탓인지 나는 집에서 멀리 떨어지는 걸 별로 안 좋아했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>사람 사귀는 일을 꺼리진 않았지만</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>굳이 많은 사람을 곁에 두는 성격이 아니라 친구들도 많진 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>해봤자 어릴 때부터 놀았던 동네 친구 몇 명이랑 어쩔 수 없이 사귀게 되는 반 친구 몇 명이 전부였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>그럼 딱 학교 아니겠냐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>넌 다른 반도 잘 안 놀러가니까 같은 반</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>딱 각이 나오네</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>그렇게 되나</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">……</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>분명해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>세호는 대단한 발견을 한 것마냥 눈을 지그시 감고 팔짱을 낀 채 콧방귀를 뀌었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>전형적인 자아도취에 빠진 사람이라 해도 손색이 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>더 많은 얘기를 하고 싶었으나 마침 야간자율학습 시간이 돼서 끊을 수밖에 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>야간자율학습이 끝나고 집으로 돌아가는 길에 세호가 해준 이야기가 자꾸만 떠올랐다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>자습시간에도 공부는커녕 연필 한 자루 쥐기도 버거웠다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>스무 명 남짓하는 여자애들 중에 내 감정을 움직인 사람이 있다는 게 믿기지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>한 번도 그런 사람이 없었으니까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>사랑이란 단어는 여동생이 자주 보던 로맨스 드라마에나 나오는 전문용어인 줄 알았는데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>부모와 자식 간의 사랑은 이해해도 남녀 간의 사랑은 이해할 수 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>내가 비정상이 아닌지 의심됐다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그날은 그렇게 잡념 속에서 허우적대다 날을 새버렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>세호 말을 들은 뒤 나는 같은 반 여자애들을 관찰하기 시작했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>아무리 관찰해도 내 마음을 끌어당길 만한 애는 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>실마리를 찾지 못해 의욕이 떨어졌다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>포기할까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>어차피 조금만 더 있으면 감정이 가라앉을 것 같기도 하고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>막상 찾는다고 해봤자 뭘 어떻게 해야 할지 감도 안 왔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그냥 내버려두면 떠내려가는 감이려니 놔두면 될 듯싶었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그런데 어느 날 감정변화의 원인을 확인하는 사건이 발생했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>성준아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>지우개 좀 빌려줘</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>두근</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>지우개 좀 빌려줘</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>또 멍 때려</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>내 짝인 채시현이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>시현이는 학기 초에 친해진 애들 중 한 명이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>허리께까지 내려오는 진한 갈색머리가 유독 돋보이는 아이였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>본인의 주장으로는 자연갈색이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>우리 사이에선 염색이든 자연이든 상관없었지만</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>선생님들은 아니었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>매 시간 해당 교과 선생님이 들어올 때마다 시현이의 머리를 지적하곤 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그때마다 시현이는 자연갈색일 뿐이라며 선생님들의 말을 꼬박꼬박 받아쳤다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>정말 당찬 여자애다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>또래에 비해 꾸미고 다닌다는 인상은 없었는데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>이상하게 남자애들한테 인기가 좋았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>심지어 다른 반 남자애들까지 우리 반에 와서 시현이를 구경</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">-</span><span>이렇게 표현할 정도로 많이 온다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">-</span><span>하고 갔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>본인은 별로 신경 쓰지 않는 것 같다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>세호가 내게 일러주기를</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>우리 학교 남자애들 모두 시현이의 짝인 나를 부러움과 질투어린 시선으로 바라보고 있다고 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>정작 나는 아무 감정도 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>세호에게 다들 시현이 어디가 좋아서 그 난리냐고 물어봤더니</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, “</span><span>얼굴 예쁘고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>몸매 좋고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>성격도 시원시원하면서 여성스럽잖아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>안 좋아하고 배기겠냐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">”</span><span>라는 답변을 들었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>예쁜 얼굴이라고는 생각했지만 딱히 관심은 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그랬는데</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">……</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span>우</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span>개</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span>좀</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span>빌</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span>려</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span>주</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span>실</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span>래</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span>요</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>시현이는 내게 얼굴을 바짝 들이밀고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>눈동자</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>시현이의 진한 갈색 눈동자에 내 눈동자가 비쳤고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>내 눈동자 안에 시현이 눈동자의 상이 맺혀 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>두근두근두근두근두근두근</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>눈동자가 마주치는 순간</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>숨이 가빠지면서 전신의 피가 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">3</span><span>배속으로 빨리 도는 기분이 들었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그걸 아는지 모르는지 시현이는 입술을 다문 채 가만히 나의 눈을</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>아니</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>나의 내면을 들여다보고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>입술에 윤기가 흘렀다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>충동적으로 입술을 맞추고 싶다는 생각이 들었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>머릿속이 말랑말랑한 면발을 누군가 젓가락으로 휘젓는 듯했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>좀처럼 갈피가 잡히지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이 들끓는 감정은</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>비로소 나는 감정변화의 원인을 찾아냈다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>채시현</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>하루 종일 옆자리에 앉아 있는데도 눈치 채지 못 하다니</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>원인을 찾아낸 기쁨과 바로 옆에 두고 깨닫지 못 한 내 자신에 대한 한심함이 한데 뒤섞여 흙탕물이 되었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>흙탕물은 바로 머릿속으로 들어와 내가 놓인 상황을 진하게 가려버렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>여보세요</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>어떤 물체가 시야에서 움직였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>간신히 정신을 다잡고 보니 시현이의 손이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>시현이는기절한 사람의 의식을 확인하는 것처럼 내 눈 앞에 손바닥을 흔들고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>혹시 어떻게 하면 여자애에게 지우개를 빌려줘야 하는지 생각하는 건 아니지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>그만 해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>네가 하는 말 한 마디 한 마디가 심장을 죄어오는 것 같아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>미안</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">! </span><span>이상한 소릴 했네</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>히이</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>자기가 한 말에 스스로 멋쩍어 웃어버리는 시현이를 본 그날</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>난 더 이상 이성에 흥미가 없는 사람이 아니었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>그 뒤로 보이지 않았던 시현이의 모습들이 조금씩 눈에 들어오기 시작했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>약간 애교가 섞인 목소리라든가 긴 머리카락이 휘날리는 모습</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>매사에 미련을 두지 않으면서도 섬세한 성격</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">-</span><span>아마 세호는 이 점을 두고 시원시원하면서도 여성스럽다고 한 모양이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">-, </span><span>머리도 좋은지 성적도 상위권이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>보통 우리나라 학생들은 이성끼리 친하지 않으면 성을 붙이고 부르는데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>어째선지 나를 불러줄 땐 성을 빼고 불러준다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>덩달아 나도 시현이를 부를 때 성을 빼고 부르게 되었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>시현이의 사소한 부분 모두 나를 설레게 만들었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>시현이에게 설렘을 느낄수록 더 많은 시현이의 모습들을 보고 싶었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나아가 다른 사람들을 모르는 시현이까지 알고 싶었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>하지만 그 지점에 도달하기 위해서는 시현이와 사귀어야 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>미묘한 자신의 변화를 털어놨던 것처럼 시현이 일도 세호에게 털어놓았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>얘기를 들은 세호는 익살스럽게 웃으며 말했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>남자라면 고백하고 봐야지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">!”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>넌 진짜 극단전이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>갑자기 고백하면 서먹해져서 날 피하지 않을까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span><span style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;">”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>만난 지 한두 달 된 사이에 뜬금없이 고백이라니</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>아무래도 무리였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>그러다가 너 평생 연애 못 한다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>너도 지금 솔로잖아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;">큽</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>정곡이었나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>하</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>하지만 말야</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>난 중학교 때 사귄 적 있거든</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>너보단 훨씬 나은 거 아니냐 이거</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>솔직히 남이 몇 명을 사귀든 내 알 바 아니었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>이 형이 몇 가지 스킬을 알려줄게</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>스킬</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>그래도 경험 있는 사람의 이야기라면 도움이 될 듯했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>난 열심히 세호의 이야기를 들었고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>세호가 해준 조언대로 연출할 상황이나 분위기를 연구했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>동네 친구들 몇몇에게도 조언을 구했지만 결과는 참혹했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>지금껏 여자는 거들떠보지도 않던 놈이 이제 와서 뭔 연애냐는 논지로 나를 밀어붙였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>실로 무의미한 친구들이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"> </p><p></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>그래서 이르게 된 게 이 상황</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>좋아하는 여자애를 앞에 두고 바보처럼 말끝을 흐려버리는 이 상황에 이르게 된 것이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나란 놈은 한심함의 극치</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>남자들의 수치다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>이럴 줄 알았으면 호감이 없는 애가 고백해도 받아주는 거였는데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>성준아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">? </span><span>어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>어</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">…</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>이상한 냄새나는 것 같지 않아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>이상한 냄새</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>콧속으로 힘껏 공기를 밀어 넣었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>매캐한 냄새가 세포들을 자극했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>언젠가 맡아본 적 있는 냄새였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>언제였지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>시골 할아버지 댁에 놀러갔을 때 벼를 추수하고 남은 짚단을 태우던</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">… </span><span>태우던</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">? </span><span>갑자기 요란한 사이렌 소리가 귀를 찔렀다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>분명 소방훈련 때 들었던 화재경보음이었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>설마 학교에 불이 난 건가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>콜록</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>콜록</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>승준아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>목이 매워</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>확실히 연기가 매웠다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>목을 타고 들어오는 연기가 목구멍을 헐어버릴 것만 같았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>시현이는 기침이 멈추지 않는지 교복 소매로 입과 코를 틀어막았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>전교생에게 알립니다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">! </span><span>이건 실제 상황입니다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">! </span><span>현재 학교에 화재가 발생했습니다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">! </span><span>교내에 있는 분들은 모두 밖으로 대피하세요</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">! </span><span>다시 한 번 알려드립니다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">!</span><span style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;">”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;font-size:9pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>안내방송의 목소리는 엄청 다급하게 들렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>방송을 듣고 아까와는 다른 긴장이 올라왔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>사물들이 뚜렷하게 보였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>시현이 등 뒤 열린 옥상 문으로 검은 연기가 올라오고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>저기로 나가지 않으면 끝장이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>라고 원초적인 생존본능이 말했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>난 어쩔 줄 모르는 시현이의 손목을 잡고 옥상 문을 향해 내달렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>꺅</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">!”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>갑작스럽게 손목이 잡힌 시현이가 비명을 질렀다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>지금은 그런 걸 신경 쓸 때가 아니었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나는 시현이의 손목을 잡은 채 검은 연기 속을 뚫고 아래층으로 내려갔다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>우리 학교는 출입구가 세 군데였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그 중 불길이 덜 번진 곳을 찾아야 했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>현재 학교에 화재가 발생했</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">……</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">!”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>방송이 끊겼다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>방송장비가 꺼지기 전 특유의 지지직거리는 소리가 났다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>아마 선생님 중 한 분이 마지막까지 방송을 하다 대피한 것 같다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>승준아,</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"> </span><span>콜록콜록</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">! </span><span>무서워</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">!”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>괜찮아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>시현아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">! </span><span>괜찮을 거야</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나만 따라오면 돼</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>알았지</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>으응</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>이런 긴박한 상황에서 아까는 왜 이런 식으로 자신 있게 말하지 못했을까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>하는 의문이 솟구쳤다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그게 문제가 아니지 지금</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>출구</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>출구를 찾아야 해</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. 4</span><span>층으로 내려오자 얼굴이 화끈거렸다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>화재발생 지점이 근처에 있는 게 분명했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>멈추면 안 돼</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">!”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>하지만</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">…</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>시현이가 동작을 멈췄다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>왜 그래</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">? </span><span>무슨 일인데</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>저</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>저기</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">…</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>시현이는 연기에 가려 캄캄한 복도를 가리켰다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>메스꺼움을 유발하는 연기 외에는 아무것도 보이지 않았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>아무것도 없어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>시현아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>아냐</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>방금 뭔가 움직이는 걸 봤는걸</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">…</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>시현이의 손이 떨리고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>화재 소식을 듣고 나서부터 떨고 있다는 걸 느끼긴 했지만 조금 전보다 떨림이 더 심해졌다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>정말 뭔가를 본 것일까</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>꺄악</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">! </span><span>오지 마</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">…… </span><span>오지 마</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">……</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>뭔가를 보고 놀란 것처럼 시현이는 내 손을 뿌리치면서 넘어졌다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>초점을 잃은 눈이 나에게 도움의 손길을 바라고 있었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>나는 눈을 찔러대는 연기 속에서 시현이가 가리킨 곳에 정말 무언가 있는지 유심히 보았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>아무리 봐도 시현이가 목격했으리라 추정되는 존재는 없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>시현아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span>일어나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">! </span><span>빨리 나가야 돼</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">!”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>쓰러진 시현이를 일으키려고 손을 뻗자 시현이는 내 손을 뿌리쳤다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>오지 마</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">… </span><span>살려줘</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">… </span><span>엄마</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;">… </span><span>엄마 살려주세요</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">!”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>이렇게 된 이상 억지로라도 끌고 가지 않으면 둘 다 죽는다.</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"> </span><span>난 이성을 잃은 시현이의 몸을 강제로 일으켰다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>툭</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">?”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>시현이의 몸이 맥없이 쓰러졌다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">“</span><span>시현아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">? </span><span>시현아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">!”</span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;"><br></span></p> <p style="line-height:200%;text-indent:10pt;"><span>난 쓰러진 시현이의 어깨를 잡고 흔들며 시현이를 깨우기 위해 안간힘을 썼다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>소용없었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>열기가 점점 위층으로 올라오는 느낌이 들었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>늦은 건가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>멈추지 않은 기침을 하며 나는 연기 속에서 되뇌었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>그리고 그제야 조금씩 들리는 것 같았다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>자욱한 연기를 헤치며 다가오는 공포가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span>들짐승이 그르렁거리는 소리가</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span></p>
소녀는 유리병이 썩 예쁘다고 생각했다.
이 유리병이라면 자신이 접은 학들을 담았을 때 고운 빛깔이 나리라.
하고 흡족한 손놀림으로 종이를 다루었다.
소녀가 짓는 미소 위로 종이학을 받을 소년의 얼굴이 포개어졌다.
종이학도 소녀의 마음을 아는지 빛나는 소녀의 눈동자에 비친 빛깔이 유난히 고왔다.
댓글 분란 또는 분쟁 때문에 전체 댓글이 블라인드 처리되었습니다.