<div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">I wish I were mad.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 차라리 제가 미쳤으면 좋겠어요.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">*</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">이건 꽤 긴 이야기예요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">하지만 여러분들이 잠깐이라도 내 이야기를 들어 주었으면 해요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">저는 친구를 만드는 데 소질이 없었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">제 부모님은 제가 어렸을 적 교통사고로 돌아가셨어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">건설용 차량에 치였는데</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">아버지는 목이 날아갔고 엄마는 건축용 철봉 </span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">24</span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">개에 몸이 꿰뚫렸죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">이 사건은 세상에서 절 온전히 혼자로 만들어버렸어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">정말 많은 노력을 했지만 다른 사람과 도무지 상호작용이라는 걸 할 수 없었죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그리고 그런 상황은 절 완전히 미쳐버리기 직전으로 만들어 버렸어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그러던 어느 날</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">집에 가면 욕조에서 내 손목을 그어버릴지 말지 생각하고 있을 때</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그가 나타났어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그의 이름은 카일이었고, 그때부터 우린 정말 친한 친구가 되었죠.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">우린 주말에 같이 놀러 나갔고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">자주 이야기도 하고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">심지어는 같은 병원에 취직하기도 했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">제 삶은 완전히 달라졌죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그에게 정말 고맙게도 전 세상을 향해 조금씩 나아가기 시작했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그리고 아름다운 여자를 만나 사랑에 빠지고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">결혼을 하고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">아이까지 가지게 되었죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. 승진도 하고, 연봉도 올랐어요. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">제일 좋았던 건, 일 주일에 이틀이나 삼일 정도만 일하면 된다는 사실이었어요!</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">​</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'함초롬바탕';" lang="en-us"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">모든 것이 순조롭게 흘러갔어요.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">어느 날</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 카일에게 제 부인을 소개시켜 주겠다고 했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그는 조금 머뭇거렸지만 제가 거의 떠밀다시피 했죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">결국 그는 우리 가족의 저녁식사에 초대받게 되었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">제가 그를 가족에게 소개시킨 날</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">제 부인은 당혹스러운 미소를 띤 채 저녁 식사 내내 카일에게 말을 걸지 않았어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">식사가 끝나고 그는 식사에 대해 어색하게나마 감사를 표했지만 제 부인은 그에게 대답하는 대신 저를 계속 쳐다보고 있었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">마치 제가 그녀를 배신하기라도 한 것처럼 말이예요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">아들은 다른 방에 있는 자기 침대에서 울고 있었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">카일은 그의 차로 걸어가면서 정말 좋은 시간을 보냈다고 말했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'함초롬바탕';" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">가기 전에</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그는 제 눈을 똑바로 바라봤어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. 곧이어 슬픔이 가득한 목소리로 말했죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">“ </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">정말 미안해</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">하지만 넌 나를 초대해선 안 되는 거였어</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.”</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그리고 그는 가 버렸어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그 때부터 전 제 부인이 저와 거리를 두며 멀어지는 걸 느꼈어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">가끔 그녀는 제가 말할 때면 절 완전히 무시해 버리기도 했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">제가 말하는 도중에 그냥 가버리기도 했구요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">일도 점점 힘들어졌고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">곧 저는 많은 일 때문에 사무실에서 거의 살다시피 해야 했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">설상가상으로 사무실 규모가 작아졌고 </span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">저는 결국 문 하나만 달랑 있는 곳으로 옮겨 가야 했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그래도 저는 제 일이 참 좋았죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">저는 카일과 매일 대화를 했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">이따금씩 사람들이 사무실에 많이 몰려들어왔죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">매일 저는 사무실 문에 나 있는 작은 창문을 통해 네다섯 명의 하얀 자켓을 입은 사람들을 볼 수 있었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그들이 하는 일은 항상 똑같았어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그들은 카일과 제가 이야기하는 절 보고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그들의 노트에 적힌 뭔가를 체크하고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">달아나다시피 했죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 카일에게 그들에 대해 물었지만 그는 신경쓰지 말라고 했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그는 절 시무룩한 표정으로 쳐다보았고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그것에 대해 잊어버렸어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그리고 우린 계속 대화를 이어나갔죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그냥 제 삶이 어떻게 흘러가고 있는지</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">뭐 그런 것들에 관해서요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">이 주일쯤 뒤에</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">카일은 제 사무실에 오더니 대뜸 그가 오랜 시간 동안 여행을 해야 할 것 같다고 말했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">언제 돌아오냐고 물었더니 고개를 저으며 확실치 않다고 이야기하더군요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그리고 그는 떠나버렸어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그리고 어느 날 저는 생전에 보지도 못했던 방 안에서 눈을 떴어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">네 개의 콘크리트 벽이 절 둘러싸고 있더군요. 방에는 창문도 없었고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">있는 것이라고는 침대 하나</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">책상 하나</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그리고 육중한 철문이었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 누군가 제발 날 좀 꺼내달라며 계속해서 소리를 질렀어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">결국</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">한 사람이 모습을 보이더군요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 그 사람을 제 사무실에서 본 적 있었기에 바로 알아볼 수 있었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 그에게 제가 얼마나 여기 있었는지 물어봤고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">얼른 절 풀어달라고 부탁했어요.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그는 절 쳐다보더니</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">제가 이곳에 있던 </span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">4</span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">년의 시간동안 처음으로 이곳을 벗어날 수 있는 기회를 얻었다고 이야기했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그동안 전 미쳤었다는 것도요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">당연하게도 이건 믿을 수 없는 이야기였죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">하지만 곧 무슨 일이 일어났는지 깨달았어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">카일</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 감정을 주체하지 못하고 무너져 흐느꼈어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">저의 제일 친한 친구가 그저 내 상상 속 허구의 이미지에 불과하다는 사실에 완전히 무너져 내렸죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그러나 시간이 지나면서</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 제 상황을 점점 받아들이기 시작했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">병원에 입원해 </span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">24</span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">시간 관리를 받기 이전에는 일 주일에 </span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">2~3</span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">일 동안 병원에 다녔다는 것을 알았어요.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그리고 병원 사무실에서 직장을 가진 적도 없었다는 걸 깨달았죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">모든 게 들어맞더군요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">한 달 후</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">마침내 저는 집에 갈 수 있게 되었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">집에 가던 날</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">의사 선생님들이 복도에 서서 절 향해 박수를 쳐 주었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">피곤했지만 기분은 꽤 좋았죠</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">지난 몇 주 동안 제 자신을 다잡고 모든 것을 버티게 해줄 수 있게 해준 건</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">집에서 절 기다릴 아내와 아이들을 다시 볼 수 있다는 사실이었으니까요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">문을 향해 걸어가는 내내 전 제 가족만을 생각했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그리고 복도 끝에서</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">익숙한 얼굴이 문을 열어줬어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">카일이었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그의 트레이드마크인</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">미소짓는 얼굴을 한 카일이요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">“</span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">당신이 이 병원을 나간다는 소식이 들리자마자 여행을 중단했어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">제 가장 소중한 환자가 이곳을 떠난다는데</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">어떻게 계속 여행을 할 수 있었겠어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">? </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">나와 다시 이야기를 하지 않아도 된다니</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"> </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">당신 정말 기쁘겠네요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">!“</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 소리를 지를 수밖에 없었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 제가 할 수 있는 한 빠르게 집으로 뛰어갔어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">마침내 집에 도착했고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">마당을 가로질러 문을 열었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">안에서 나를 반겨줄 가족을</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.......</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">..</span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그곳엔 아무것도 없었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">카일은 실재하는 제 전담 의사였고</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">제 가족은 존재한 적 없었다는 사실을 깨닫자 다시 이 세상에 혼자 남겨진 기분이 들더군요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">. </span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">피가 제 몸에서 흘러나와 욕실 바닥을 적시는 동안</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">저는 무겁게 내려앉은 </span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">, </span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">외로운 공기를 느낄 수 있었어요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span> <div></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">환자의 정신적 장애를 치료하는 게 정말로 옳은 일일까요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">? </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">진짜 세상에 적응할 수 있도록 환자들의 세계와 그들을 분리하는 것이 옳은 건가요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">? </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">그리고 의사들은 그렇게 할 권리가 있나요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">? </span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">저는 그렇다고 생각하지 않아요</span><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us">.</span></div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span> </div> <div><span style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;" lang="en-us"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">전 차라리 제가 미쳤으면 좋겠어요.</span><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"> </span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">*</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">출처: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2t2378/i_wish_i_were_mad/" target="_blank">http://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/2t2378/i_wish_i_were_mad/</a></span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;">첫 번역이라 의역 오역 엄청나네요 ㅠ 봐주셔서 감사합니다 지적 기쁘게 받아요~</span></div> <div><span style="font-family:'3653766_10';font-size:10pt;"></span> </div>