<table style="border-collapse:collapse;table-layout:fixed;border-width:.28pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;"><tbody><tr><td rowspan="2" style="width:119.19pt;height:42.62pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:2.55pt;border-style:solid solid double;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us" style="letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:30pt;">D-156</span></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:21.31pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:2.55pt 2.55pt .28pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'한컴 윤체 B';letter-spacing:0pt;">WEATHER </span><span style="font-family:'한컴 윤체 B';">구름이 끼어 있어 햇볕이 덜 든다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'한컴 윤체 B';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'한컴 윤체 B';">바람이 솔솔 불어온다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'한컴 윤체 B';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:359.78pt;height:21.31pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid solid double;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'한컴 윤체 B';letter-spacing:0pt;">DATE 2018.8.7.(</span><span style="font-family:'한컴 윤체 B';">화</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'한컴 윤체 B';letter-spacing:0pt;">) </span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:21.31pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:2.55pt;border-style:double solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'한컴 윤체 B';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:13pt;">WAKE UP TIME 05:40 BED TIME 11:00 </span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:69.42pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:2.55pt 2.55pt .28pt;border-style:double solid solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span style="font-family:'오이';">수강 신청 하는 날</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:'오이';">제발 잘 돼라</span><span style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">……</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:21.31pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'MD아트체';letter-spacing:0pt;">TO DO LIST</span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:21.31pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">·</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">국어 단어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">&</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">토익 단어</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">&</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">일본어 단어 복습 위주로 다시 읽어보기</span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:21.31pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">·</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">수강 신청 하기</span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:21.31pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">·</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">개인 상담 받기</span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:21.31pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid solid double;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">·</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">고등학교 한국사 완자 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">3</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">단원 공부하기</span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:21.31pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:2.55pt;border-style:double solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'MD아트체';letter-spacing:0pt;">TIME MEAL</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:2.55pt 2.55pt .28pt;border-style:double solid solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">AM 07:10~07:30</span></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:2.55pt 2.55pt .28pt;border-style:double solid solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">찐 달걀 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">1</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">개</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">사과 중간보다 큰 것 껍질 채로 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">1/2</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">개</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">,</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;">   </p><p></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">찐 단호박 중간 크기 껍질 채로 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">1/2</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">개</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">,</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;">   </p><p></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">집에서 만든 플레인 요거트 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">1</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">큰스푼</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">구운 아몬드 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">10</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">알</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">PM 01:25~01:40</span></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">찹쌀흑미콩밥 반 그릇</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">구운 김 큰 것 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">1</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">장</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">김치 약간</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">,</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;">   </p><p></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">마른 멸치</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">콩자반</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">고사리나물</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">콩잎무침 충분히 </span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">PM 07:05~07:30</span></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">찹쌀흑미콩밥 반 그릇</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">꽁치김치찌개</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">(</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">꽁치</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">김치</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">양파</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">두부 위주로</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">),</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;">   </p><p></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">마른 멸치</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">콩자반</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">고사리나물</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">콩잎무침 충분히</span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">아침 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">: </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">천식약 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">1</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">종</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">비타민</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">C, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">루테인</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">유산균 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">1</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">알씩 저녁 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">: </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">천식약 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">2</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">종</span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:18.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid solid double;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">물 </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">: 3L </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">이상</span></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:2.55pt;border-style:double solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us"> </span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'MD아트체';letter-spacing:0pt;">TIME EXERCISE</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:2.55pt 2.55pt .28pt;border-style:double solid solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">AM 05:40~05:45</span></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:2.55pt 2.55pt .28pt;border-style:double solid solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">아침 스트레칭</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">AM 06:05~06:45</span></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">조깅 전 스트레칭</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">&</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">아침 조깅</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">(4.3km, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">보통 속도로</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">쉬지 않고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">)</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">AM 06:50~06:55</span></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">계단 오르기</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">(22</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">층</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">)</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">PM 06:45~06:50</span></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;"><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">계단 오르기</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">(22</span><span style="font-family:'오이';font-size:11pt;">층</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-size:11pt;">)</span></p></td></tr><tr><td style="width:119.19pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;">   </p><p></p></td> <td style="width:359.78pt;height:24.14pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p style="text-align:center;">   </p><p></p></td></tr><tr><td colspan="2" style="width:478.97pt;height:196.82pt;padding:1.41pt 5.1pt;border-width:.28pt 2.55pt 2.55pt;border-style:solid;border-color:#000000;" valign="middle"> <p><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;font-weight:bold;font-size:15pt;">MEMO</span></p> <p><span style="font-family:'오이';">하루가 너무 힘들었다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">아침에 수강신청에 치이고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">오전 오후에는 공부가 안 돼서 짜증이 치솟고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">몸은 쑤시고 괴롭고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">마음이 마치 얇은 유리잔처럼 아슬아슬하기 짝이 없는 날이다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">글씨가 읽히지도 않고 공부는 안 되고 자꾸 다른 생각이 들어 너무 답답하고 내가 한심했다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">오후에 했던 상담 선생님께서 그러시더라</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">내가 지금 하는 것들이 힘든 이유는 그동안 참고 내가 외면해왔던 감정들이 솔직하게 그 모습을 드러낸 것일 뿐이라고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">나 힘들다고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">이거 하기 싫다고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">부담된다고 계속 말해왔던 것이 겉으로 드러난 것이라고</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">심각하게 그 이야기를 받아들였다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">아</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">내가 힘들구나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">내가 하고 있는 것들이 부담이 되는구나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">마냥 즐거운 것이 아니었구나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">운동도 식이도 기꺼이 내가 원해서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">이제는 습관이 되어서 하는 것들이라고 생각했는데 아니었구나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">여전히 하기 싫은 마음이 많았구나</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">, </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">싶다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">그래서 오늘은 아픈 내 몸을 좀 달래주기 위하여 저녁 근력 운동은 패스</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">오늘은 그저 헛헛하게 시간을 보내는 것이 필요할 것 같다</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">좀 쉬자</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">. </span><span style="font-family:'오이';">재밌고 하고 싶은 것들을 많이 하기 위해서</span><span lang="en-us" style="font-family:'오이';letter-spacing:0pt;">.</span></p></td></tr></tbody></table><br><div><font size="3">안녕하세요, 다게 여러분. 솔솔 불어오는 시원한 바람에 기분이 좋아야 하건만, 저는 그렇질 못하네요. 어제 힘들었다고 일지를 올린 것 같은데, 오늘은 더더욱 힘든 날이 되었습니다. 아침에 수강 신청에 치이지, 공부는 잘 안 되지, 감정 조절은 힘들지, 이래저래 총체적 난국이었습니다. 커다란 돌덩이 하나에 몸이 짓눌려 다른 해야하는 것들을 하기가 힘든 느낌이었습니다. 이런 안 좋은 것들은 또 다른 안 좋은 일들의 원인이 되고, 결과가 되어 다시 원인으로 돌아오죠. 악순환입니다. 그 악순환을 끊어야하는데 끊기가 힘든 것이 사실이죠.</font></div> <div><font size="3"><br></font></div> <div><font size="3">매주 화요일마다 학교에서 개인 상담을 받고 있습니다. 오늘은 공부도 안 되고 집중도 안 되고 글씨도 안 읽히고 너무 힘들고 나에게 화가 났다, 라고 상담 선생님께 말씀드렸더니 선생님께서 말씀하시길, 그동안 애써 외면하고, 자꾸만 참아왔던 감정들이 솔직하게 그 모습을 드러낸 것이라고 하시더군요. 내가 하는 것들은 한 두가지가 아니고 그게 힘든 게 당연한데, 나는 힘들지 않아, 나는 이것들을 전부 해야해, 이 일들은 내가 하고 싶어서 하는 일이니 즐거워야만 해, 라는 식으로 자꾸 생각해왔습니다. 사실은 힘들고 하기 싫고 부담스러운데, 그만 두고 싶은데 말이죠. 달거리라서, 엊그제가 휴가라서 그런 게 아니라 언젠가 터져야 할 것이 터진 겁니다. 몸과 마음이 말하고 있는 것 같습니다. 너 지금 짜증나지? 화나지? 그거 네가 힘들다는 거야, 이제는 좀 받아들여라. 애써 외면해오고 그 감정들을 느끼는 것마저 죄책감을 느끼며 자꾸 다른 생각을 하려고 했는데 상담 선생님의 그 말씀을 듣고나니 제 힘든 감정을 피하지 말고 직면해야한다는 생각이 드네요. 하고 있는 것들이 너무 많아서 힘든 것인가, 잘 먹질 못하는 건가, 원인을 생각하다보니 오늘은 결국 해야하는 것들을 다 하지도 못하고+잘 먹은 날이 되어버렸군요ㅎㅎ 덕분에 근력 운동도 패스입니다. 지금 제가 힘들다는 걸 그냥 받아들이고, 몸이 반응하는 대로 순응하는 게 지금 저에게 필요한 것 같습니다. 이번 주까지만, 아니 오늘까지만 좀 쉬자라는 약간의 안일함이 필요한 때죠. 여전히 빈둥거리는 게 세상에서 제일 힘들긴 합니다만 ㅎㅎ</font></div> <div><font size="3"><br></font></div> <div><font size="3">이래저래 많이 치이고 힘든 날이었습니다. 그렇지만 이제는 내가 힘든 원인을 애써 피하지 말로 그대로 직면하는 용기가 생긴 것 같습니다. 괜찮아, 힘든 게 당연해. 네가 조금 제멋대로 해도 너는 충분히 잘하고 있어, 라고 나 자신에게 말하고 싶습니다. 내일은 상쾌한 기분으로, 조금 더 가벼운 마음으로 맞이했으면 합니다. 힘들고 고달픈 하루를 보내신 다이어터 여러분, 괴로운 일은 잠시 잊고 몸을 즐겁게 해 주시길 바랍니다. 내일도 함께 힘내봅시다ㅎㅎ</font></div> <div><font size="3"><br></font></div> <div><font size="3"><br></font></div>